Subject: Problems » Failure (Page 2)

Success is a public affair; failure is a private funeral.

(1907 – 1976) American actress
Failure Success

The faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a crashed state.

Computers Failure Murphy’s Laws Things

Murphy’s Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it.


Failure Murphy’s Laws

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Accidents Failure Situations

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong, is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Failure Problems

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

Failure Mistakes Problems Proverbs

Byrne's Law: In any electrical circuit, appliances and wiring will burn out to protect fuses.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Failure Murphy’s Laws Things

Experiments should be reproducible… they should all fail in the same way.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Failure Misspokements Speech Success

I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man’s failures.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician
Failure Problems Sports

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Failure Problems Things

Everything put together sooner or later falls apart.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Washing machines only break down during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Failure Problems

Percussive Maintenance: Striking a recalcitrant piece of electronic hardware in order to facilitate a successful reboot, and repeating as necessary.

Definitions Failure Problems Things

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

We still… cannot catch Osama bin Laden, but we nailed Martha Stewart's ass to the wall.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Failure Government Law People

To err is human to forgive, infrequent.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Characteristics Failure Mistakes Problems

He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Failure Problems