Subject: Problems (Page 12)

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number and significance of any persons watching it.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Failure Problems

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Failure Problems Situations

When my wife drives, there’s always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, “There’s water in the carburetor.” I asked her, “Where’s the car?” She said, “In a lake.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Problems Things

The worst part is that I don’t even have the fun of doing the things I’m getting blamed for.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Problems

If you're in a hole, stop digging.

Problems Situations

I was a trapeze artist…. but I was let go.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Problems Work

It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is the same damn thing over and over.

(1892 – 1950) poet
Life Problems

A drowning man is not troubled by rain.

People Problems

If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

Military Murphy’s Laws Problems

I led the league in “Go get ‘em next time.”

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Failure Sports

It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer; we have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got Saran Wrap – FIX IT!

Problems Science/Weather

It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Problems

Automatic simply means that you can’t repair it yourself.

(1897 – 1991) Italian-born American film director
Problems Situations Things

Everything put together sooner or later falls apart.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

There are coexisting elements in frustration phenomena which separate expected results from achieved results.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Trying is just the first step toward failure.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Failure TV/Movie Quotes

Never moon a werewolf.

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Problems Situations