Subject: Problems (Page 15)

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places Problems

I saw a license plate yesterday that said 'I Miss New York,' so I smashed their window and stole their radio.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian
New York City Places Problems

I don't believe in astrology; the only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems

An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.

(1947 – ) American author
Problems

It is better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for it.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician
Problems Situations

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

Never fret for an only son, the idea of failure will never occur to him.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Failure Problems Success

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

(1918 – 1990) American aerospace engineer
Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Experiments should be reproducible… they should all fail in the same way.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Authorization for a project will be granted only when none of the authorizers can be blamed if the project fails but when all of the authorizers can claim credit if it succeeds.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

It is not enough to succeed, others must fail.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Failure Success

It's hard to describe what it's like to see a stock car flying through the air knowing it's going to land on top of you.

American auto racer
Accidents Auto racing Problems Sports

The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.

(1911 – 1983) playwright
Mistakes Problems

To err is human; to purr, feline.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Animals Cats Mistakes Problems

There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Mistakes Things

1. Anyone else who can be blamed should be blamed.
2. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong faster with computers.
3. Whenever a computer can be blamed, it should be blamed.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems