Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Problems
(Page 15)
Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.
Anonymous
Definitions
Mistakes
Experience
How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?
Dennis the Menace
cartoon character, created by Hank Ketcham (1920 – 2001)
Problems
Situations
Governments tend not to solve problems, only to rearrange them.
Ronald Reagan
(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government
Problems
Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns.
Snafu Equation I
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life
Problems
Luck
Surviving
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
Proverb
Activities
Autos
Beliefs
Problems
Proverbs
Travel
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age
Emotions
Failure
Friends
Sasdness
The effort expended by the bureaucracy in defending any error is in direct proportion to the size of the error.
Nies's Law
Mistakes
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Time
Bureaucracy
If you think you're wrong, you're wrong
Corollary: If you think you're wrong, you're right.
Thinking Man's Tautology
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Right
Wrong
Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome.
Nichols' Fourth Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
It is better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end.
Matsch's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Situations
Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends
Old
People
Problems
Success
Sympathy
The toughest call an umpire has to make is not the half-swing; the toughest call is throwing a guy out of the game after you blew the hell out of the play.
Johnny Rice
American baseball umpire
Baseball
Mistakes
Problems
Sports
Umpires
Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places
Problems
Meetings
I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents
Money
Poverty
If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents
Characteristics
Men
People
Odor
You never run out of things that can go wrong.
NBC's Addendum to Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
It's human to make mistakes and some of us are more human than others.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Mistakes
Problems
The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.
Woodside's Grocery Principle
Accidents
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Bags
Eggs
A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Inspection
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Marriage
Problems
Sex
World
Virginity
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