Subject: Problems (Page 19)

The only problem with having nothing to do is you can't stop and rest.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

I don't believe in astrology; the only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles; eighty percent of the people don't care and the other twenty percent are glad you're having trouble.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Like trying to poke a cat out from under a porch with a wet rope.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer

If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail

Super-competence is more objectionable than incompetence.

In this world there are winners and losers – and, of course, ‘the others’, who comprise the majority.

(1967 – ) English comedian

My daughter's tricycle said “Some Assembly Required” … it came in a jar!

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter

The squeaky wheel doesn't always get greased; it often gets replaced.

When one is trying to be elegant and sophisticated, one won't.

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road; they get run over.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician

In larger things we are convivial – What causes trouble is the trivial.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author

Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer

Everything breaks down.

Never moon a werewolf.

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

Whenever you decide to take the kids home, it is always five minutes earlier that they break into fights, tears, or hysteria.

Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.