Subject: Problems (Page 19)

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

When an elephant is in trouble even a frog will kick him.

Problems

Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Problems

The easiest way to solve a problem is to pick an easy one.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Problems

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is… well, an umpire.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Mistakes Problems Sports

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" and I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Mistakes Situations Sleep

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Intelligence Problems Understanding

If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions aren't likely to be very good.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Coach: Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?

Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

Success doesn’t teach as many lessons as failure does.


Failure Success

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll under the car to the vehicle's exact geographic center.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs… but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

(1916 – 2000) Egyptian-American academic economist & historian
Failure Problems Situations

God don't make no mistakes… that's how He got to be God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs God Mistakes

I am the rock between me and the hard place.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
People Problems Self

If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Problems

The first shall be last and the last shall be first, but if you're in the middle, you're stuck there.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

Never saw off the branch you are on, unless you are being hanged from it.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Problems Situations