Subject: Problems (Page 20)

Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.

(1943 – 1971) rock singer
Life Mistakes

To err is human but to really foul up requires a computer.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
Computers Mistakes Problems Things

Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Definitions Mistakes

The leading cause of hot air balloon crashes is blowing an open flame into a f**king cloth balloon with a basket attached.

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Accidents Problems Things

1. Anyone else who can be blamed should be blamed.
2. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong faster with computers.
3. Whenever a computer can be blamed, it should be blamed.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

God don't make no mistakes… that's how He got to be God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs God Mistakes

Authorization for a project will be granted only when none of the authorizers can be blamed if the project fails but when all of the authorizers can claim credit if it succeeds.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Problems

The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

I led the league in “Go get ‘em next time.”

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Failure Sports

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Characteristics Intelligence Problems

You don't get ulcers from what you eat; you get them from what's eating you.

(1888 – 1960) Austrian writer
Eating Food/Drink Health Problems

If you're in a hole, stop digging.

Problems Situations

When you move something to a more logical place, you only can remember where it used to be and your decision to move it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

To err is human; to purr, feline.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Animals Cats Mistakes Problems

If you think you're wrong, you're wrong

Corollary: If you think you're wrong, you're right.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems

Experience is what makes you pause briefly before going ahead and making the same mistake.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Mistakes Problems Situations Time

Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job – it's the start of a brand new series of three.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Work

I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places Problems Success World

The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.

(1911 – 1983) playwright
Mistakes Problems