Subject: Problems (Page 21)

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Problems Sports

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Life Problems

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

(1885 – 1962) Danish physicist
Mistakes People Problems

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Intelligence Problems Stupidity

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure Insults

When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

It’s a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy, and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

Things go right so they can go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

When all else fails, play dead.

(1945 – ) Canadian comedian & actor
Problems TV/Movie Quotes

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Accidents Life

When a problem goes away, the people working to solve it do not.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

Any attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Characteristics Honesty Mistakes Problems

A drowning man is not troubled by rain.

People Problems

This is a crisis, a large crisis. In fact… it’s a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeted throughout; twenty-four hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying ‘This is a Large Crisis.’

(1955 – ) English actor
Problems TV/Movie Quotes

A malfunctioning car will stop displaying symptoms of imminent breakdown when driven to within one-quarter mile of a garage.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

I'll say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that's more than I can say for prosperity.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money Problems

The longer ahead you plan a special event, and the more special it is, the more likely it is to go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If you're in a hole, stop digging.

Problems Situations