Subject: Problems (Page 21)

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Problems

Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for it.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician
Problems Situations

The most delicate component will be dropped.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

Any system or program, however complicated, if looked at in exactly the right way, will become even more complicated.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Washing machines only break down during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Accident: Any negligent or malicious behavior performed by someone with a clever lawyer.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions Problems

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

It's human to make mistakes and some of us are more human than others.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Mistakes Problems

An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.

(1947 – ) American author
Problems

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

1. If it is green or it wiggles – it is Biology.
2. If it stinks – it is Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work – it is Physics.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Science/Weather

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems

Sex: The thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Problems Sex Time

Coach: Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?

Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

There is nothing wrong with the car except that it is on fire.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Problems Sports

Automation takes more people to correct the mistakes.

Mistakes Problems

When all else fails, follow instructions.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

I broke a leg one time… spilled coffee all over.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Problems