Subject: Problems (Page 24)

The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from science, along with behavior control, genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers.


Problems Science/Weather

Never saw off the branch you are on, unless you are being hanged from it.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Problems Situations

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Money Problems

[My husband] and I are always fighting; when we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Conflict Marriage Problems

A dropped object will fall with an acceleration of 32 feet per second per second, and if it is your wallet, it will make every effort to land in a public toilet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Failure Problems

Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

Failure Mistakes Problems Proverbs

Failure has gone to his head.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics Failure Insults Problems

I saw a license plate yesterday that said 'I Miss New York,' so I smashed their window and stole their radio.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian
New York City Places Problems

God don't make no mistakes… that's how He got to be God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs God Mistakes

Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for it.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician
Problems Situations

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Communication People Problems

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Problems Sleep

When all else fails, play dead.

(1945 – ) Canadian comedian & actor
Problems TV/Movie Quotes

For every human problem, there is a neat, simple solution and it is always wrong.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Murphy’s Laws Problems

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs… but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

(1916 – 2000) Egyptian-American academic economist & historian
Failure Problems Situations

My daughter's tricycle said “Some Assembly Required” … it came in a jar!

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Children Family Problems

The squeaky wheel doesn't always get greased; it often gets replaced.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver’s side of your car windshield.

Murphy’s Laws Problems