Subject: Problems (Page 3)

Fuses never blow during daylight hours.
Corollary: Only after fuses blow do you discover the flashlight batteries are dead and you’re out of candles, or matches, or both.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Accidents Insults Problems

Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.

Lerman's Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

Never saw off the branch you are on, unless you are being hanged from it.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Problems Situations

Everything is in a state of utter dishevelment.

Life Murphy’s Laws Problems

Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Mistakes Problems

When all else fails, play dead.

(1945 – ) Canadian comedian & actor
Problems TV/Movie Quotes

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Failure Family

Specialists are people who always repeat the same mistakes.

(1883 – 1969) German architect & founder of the Bauhaus School
Mistakes People Problems

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
Corollary: Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the boss is reading it.

Communication Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

The squeaky wheel gets replaced.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

All great discoveries are made by mistake

Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

(1918 – 1990) American aerospace engineer
Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems

The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number and significance of any persons watching it.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is clear, simple, and wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

There comes a time when one must stop suggesting and evaluating new solutions, and get on with the job of analyzing and finally implementing one pretty good solution.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

However much a shower control may rotate, the degree of rotation required to change from ice-cold to scalding is never more than one millimeter.

(1957 – ) New Zealand writer
Murphy’s Laws Problems

If several things that could have gone wrong have not gone wrong, it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

I ain’t got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can’t make no mistakes. Like he’s, waddya call, inflammable.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Malaprops Mistakes