Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Problems
(Page 3)
Most projects require three hands.
Second Workshop Principle
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Situations
Hands
Indecision may or may not be my problem.
Jimmy Buffett
(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Characteristics
Intelligence
Problems
Indecision
Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.
Ronald Reagan
(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government
Problems
Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.
Mary Buckley
author
Husbands
Marriage
Problems
Hot water
Trouble
Any bus that can be the wrong bus will be the wrong bus. All others are out of service or full.
Corcoroni's Sixth Law of Bus Transportation
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Buses
Transportation
1 + 1 hardly ever equals 2.
Murphy’s Formulation
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Failure
Family
Confessing
Faults
Psychiatry
Shortcomings
When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Doctors
Health
Mistakes
I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Problems
Solutions
Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?
Tom Lehrer
(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Communication
Problems
Situations
Wordplay
Also Bob Newhart
If you are going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it.
Leo Rosten
(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Mistakes
Problems
Enjoyment
If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem.
George Carlin
(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Problems
Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.
Jake's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Things
Hammers
If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.
Boyle's Laws - 3
Murphy’s Laws
People
Problems
Work
The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Engineers
To err is human, but it feels divine.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions
Problems
Divine
Err
Human
A child will not spill on a dirty floor.
Skoff's Law
Accidents
Children
Spills
You can always tell you're in trouble when the good option involves a prosthetic leg.
Hugh Elliott
blogger (Standing Room Only)
Problems
Situations
Options
Prosthetics
Trouble
If you know something can go wrong, and take due precaution to prevent it, something else will go wrong.
Patry's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
Scott Adams
(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics
Failure
Intelligence
Mistakes
People
Blame
Decisions
Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome.
Nichols' Fourth Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
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