Subject: Problems (Page 3)

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician

Like trying to poke a cat out from under a porch with a wet rope.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from the floor… especially in the dark.

The most delicate component will be dropped.

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.

(1909 – 1995) American journalist

What a pity human beings can't exchange problems; everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow's.

(1918 - 2002) American author

This is a crisis, a large crisis. In fact… it’s a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeted throughout; twenty-four hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying ‘This is a Large Crisis.’

(1955 – ) English actor

Things are never as bad as they turn out to be.

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?

cartoon character, created by Hank Ketcham (1920 – 2001)

Things go right so they can go wrong.

Getting caught is the mother of invention.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

If on an actuarial basis there is a 50-50 chance that something will go wrong, it will actually go wrong nine times out of ten.

If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car; it wasn’t serious – nobody saw me.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian

The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle… unless you die of something.

(1935 – ) American cartoonist

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer