Subject: Problems (Page 6)

Mechanics, not microbes, are the menace to civilization.

(1868 – 1952) British writer
Problems

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations Things

Any attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If at first you don't succeed, try try again… then quit; there's no use being a damn fool about it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Failure Situations Success

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs… but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

(1916 – 2000) Egyptian-American academic economist & historian
Failure Problems Situations

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.

(1533 – 1592) French writer
Life Problems

Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Coach: Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?

Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

Never create a problem for which you do not have the answer.

Corollary: Create problems for which only you have the answer.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

In this world there are winners and losers – and, of course, ‘the others’, who comprise the majority.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Failure People Success

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

I led the league in “Go get ‘em next time.”

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Failure Sports

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command… very often, that person is crazy.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
People Problems

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

(1924 – ) 39th U.S. president & humanitarian
Marriage Problems Wives

The leading cause of hot air balloon crashes is blowing an open flame into a f**king cloth balloon with a basket attached.

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Accidents Problems Things

Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Accidents Autos Things

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Success is a public affair; failure is a private funeral.

(1907 – 1976) American actress
Failure Success

When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Doctors Health Mistakes

Whatever a parent does is wrong.

Failure Family Murphy’s Laws Parents Problems Young

If you know something can go wrong, and take due precaution to prevent it, something else will go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems