Subject: Problems (Page 7)

If you use a pole saw to saw a limb while standing on an aluminum ladder borrowed from your neighbor, the limb will fall in such a way as to bend the ladder before it knocks you to the ground.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

It is better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

Dear Randolph, utterly unspoilt by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure Insults

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Authorization for a project will be granted only when none of the authorizers can be blamed if the project fails but when all of the authorizers can claim credit if it succeeds.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

(1924 – ) 39th U.S. president & humanitarian
Marriage Problems Wives

Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Problems

The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Failure Problems Situations

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

I don't look to jump over seven-foot bars: I look around for one-foot bars that I can step over.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Problems

There is no safety in numbers… or in anything else.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Life Problems

When one is trying to be elegant and sophisticated, one won't.

,
Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" and I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Mistakes Situations Sleep

If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems Work

Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

There is nothing wrong with the car except that it is on fire.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Problems Sports

Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

They're funny things, accidents; you never have them till you're having them.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Accidents Problems

Never moon a werewolf.

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Problems Situations

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes