Subject: Problems (Page 8)

The man has a 70% approval rate, which makes sense to me because he's pretty much done everything I expected him to do: the economy's in the toilet, we're at war and everything's on fire.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
People Problems

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it is awfully hard to get it back in.

(1926 – 1993) American presidential staffer & Watergate co-conspirator
Problems Situations

It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

There is always one more bug.

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

Coach: Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?

Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong, is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Failure Problems

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Failure God Success

Whenever you decide to take the kids home, it is always five minutes earlier that they break into fights, tears, or hysteria.

Children Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Accidents Autos Clothing Death Problems

Washing machines only break down during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Governments tend not to solve problems, only to rearrange them.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Problems

Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.

(1947 – ) American author
Problems

Trying is just the first step toward failure.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Failure TV/Movie Quotes

The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Communication Mistakes Problems

If you're in a hole, stop digging.

Problems Situations

If you think you're wrong, you're wrong

Corollary: If you think you're wrong, you're right.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes