Subject: Problems (Page 9)

The most difficult light bulb to replace burns out first and most frequently.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems than you have to.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Emotions Life Problems Success

We’re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements Mistakes Problems

The man has a 70% approval rate, which makes sense to me because he's pretty much done everything I expected him to do: the economy's in the toilet, we're at war and everything's on fire.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
People Problems

I love when problems have simple solutions: cold medicine… umbrellas… condoms… tax incentives & subsidies attracting favored industries.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Problems

I was a trapeze artist…. but I was let go.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Problems Work

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Failure Success

Murphy’s Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it.


Failure Murphy’s Laws

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

To err is human; to really foul things up takes a computer.

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Automatic: If something is automatic, that simple means that you can’t repair it yourself.

Definitions Murphy’s Laws Problems

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.

(1857 – 1924) English (Polish-Ukrainian-born) novelist
Men People Problems Women

We still… cannot catch Osama bin Laden, but we nailed Martha Stewart's ass to the wall.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Failure Government Law People

I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man’s failures.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician
Failure Problems Sports

Any idiot can face a crisis – it’s this day-to-day living that wears you out.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Problems

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Failure Self Sports

He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Failure Problems

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Problems

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler – and less trouble.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Problems Situations

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Problems

To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.

(1902 – 1983) American philosopher
Life Problems