Subject: Relationships » Dating (Page 2)

I date this girl for two years – and then the nagging starts: ‘I wanna know your name…’

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Dating Relationships

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

Dating Definitions Relationships

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist – she did everybody.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Dating Relationships Sex

I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think… I don’t know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself… you know these kind of girls: ‘I'm hot. I’m on fire… Me, me, me.’

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Dating Relationships

Yeah, I'm kind of lazy… I'm dating a pregnant woman.


Dating People Relationships

I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Dating Relationships Sports

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, then dropped me as soon as he’d scored.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Dating Men People Relationships

Ed, have you noticed that the older you get, the younger your girlfriends get? Soon you’ll be dating sperm.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

You might be a redneck if… your on your first date you had to ask your dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Dating People Rednecks

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.

Dating Relationships Situations

I’d like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Dating Family Relationships

I refuse to go out with a man whose ass is smaller than mine.

(1960 – ) American actress
Dating Men TV/Movie Quotes

You know how embarrassing it is to walk with a girl on a first date and see somebody with the same shirt as you on – and they homeless?

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Dating Relationships

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent; she can't wait to disprove it.

(1904 – 1986) English-American actor
Dating Sex

I was dating an infectious disease doctor, 'cause… two birds.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating Relationships

Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author
Dating Relationships Sex

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Dating Relationships

I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Dating Old People Relationships Women

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dating Hair

The other night I went out on a date with a guy who said he didn't like girls who were fragile or vulnerable… so I stabbed him.

comedian
Characteristics Dating Relationships Situations

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Dating Relationships Taxes Work