Subject: Relationships » Dating (Page 3)

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Dating Relationships Sex

We had to break up, though… we wanted different things… like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating Relationships

I was dating an infectious disease doctor, 'cause… two birds.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating Relationships

A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky; the woman already knows.

American comedian & writer
Dating Relationships Sex

Dating: An elaborate prelude to mating that fulfills much the same function as the sniffing ritual in dogs, but without its forthright honesty.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships

I was dating this girl once for a few weeks, and the first time she saw my penis, she said, 'Is everything a joke with you?'

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Appearance Body Dating Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your on your first date you had to ask your dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Dating People Rednecks

In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock; in the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish; in the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black; in the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Dating Girls People Relationships

Why don't you come up and have a little… scotch and sofa.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Dating Relationships Situations

It’s not a date. We’re just agreeing to eat at the same table.

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I’d like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Dating Family Relationships

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: 1. a date, 2.his wife, 3. a better looking and richer male friend.

Dating Men Murphy’s Laws Relationships Women

You know how embarrassing it is to walk with a girl on a first date and see somebody with the same shirt as you on – and they homeless?

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Dating Relationships

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Dating Relationships

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, then dropped me as soon as he’d scored.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Dating Men People Relationships

Never try to pick up a woman who is wearing a Super Bowl ring.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Dating People Relationships Situations

I wish that there was a restaurant named “I don't care,” so I'd finally know where my girlfriend was talking about.

(1979 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Dating Food/Drink Relationships

The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

Dating Men Relationships Sex

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.

comedian
Dating Eating Food/Drink Relationships

He was really into family… he'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating Relationships