Subject: Relationships » Dating (Page 4)

If you treat a girl like a dog, she’s going to piss on you.

(1964 – ) American singer-songwriter & musician
Dating Girls People Relationships

I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Dating Relationships Sports

I took a girl out on a date the other night and I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually, you know, because I was out of chloroform and rags.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian
Dating Sex

I used to go missing a lot – Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss Germany…

(1946 – 2005) Irish professional football player
Dating Misspokements

I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection… she pulled a switchblade on me.

writer, website creator
Dating Sex Situations

My girlfriend and I almost didn't have the second date because on the first date I didn't open the car door for her… I just swam to the surface.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Dating Relationships Situations

Monica: Okay, everybody. Relax. This is not even a date. It’s just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.

Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.

(1969 – ) Canadian-American actor
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky; the woman already knows.

American comedian & writer
Dating Relationships Sex

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, then dropped me as soon as he’d scored.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Dating Men People Relationships

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dating Relationships

How To Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men

Book Titles Dating Relationships

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent; she can't wait to disprove it.

(1904 – 1986) English-American actor
Dating Sex

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend… I love this girl… I know I love her because she told me.

American actor & comedian
Dating Emotions Love Relationships

I can do some things now that I couldn't do when I was 17, like date high school girls.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Age Dating Girls People Relationships Young

I’m still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Age Dating Relationships

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Dating Relationships

I love going on blind dates because you can stare at their tits. … Some of you are now thinking — “Hey you can’t make fun of the blind…” Watch me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Dating Language Relationships

I wish that there was a restaurant named “I don't care,” so I'd finally know where my girlfriend was talking about.

(1979 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Dating Food/Drink Relationships

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Dating Relationships Sex

I like being married for two reasons: 1) I got really tired of dating, and 2) I got really tired of exercising.

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Dating Exercise Marriage Relationships

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.

comedian
Dating Eating Food/Drink Relationships