Subject: Relationships » Dating (Page 4)

I date this girl for two years – and then the nagging starts: ‘I wanna know your name…’

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Dating Relationships

Dating: An elaborate prelude to mating that fulfills much the same function as the sniffing ritual in dogs, but without its forthright honesty.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner; tactics is getting her to drink it.

(1920 – 1998) English comedy writer, radio & television personality
Dating Situations

Dates are basically where I go out and I act like someone I'm not until the person likes me enough to be who I actually am.

writer & comedian
Characteristics Dating People Relationships Self

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

Dating Definitions Relationships

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid; girls got pinned, not nailed.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Age Dating Sex

Whenever I’m about to have sex with a girl, I play it smart and just automatically assume she has herpes; because that way I don’t have to tell her about my herpes.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Dating Health Sex

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Communication Dating Relationships Wordplay

You still chase women, but only downhill.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Dating Old

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Dating Entertainment Music Relationships

I'm dating again, which is very exciting… 'cause I'm married.

comedian
Dating Relationships

I change girlfriends every seven years, a habit I picked up from broken mirrors.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Dating Girlfriends People Relationships

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend… I love this girl… I know I love her because she told me.

American actor & comedian
Dating Emotions Love Relationships

I think it’s interesting that ‘cologne’ rhymes with ‘alone.’

(1973 – ) American comedian
Dating Relationships Things

I once dated a girl that was wild. I took her to a bar. She gave the mechanical bull her phone number.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Dating Relationships

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Dating Relationships Taxes Work

The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

Dating Men Relationships Sex

I once went on a date with a girl where we went hiking… and she gets bit by a snake in between her toes, and I had to suck out the poison… so she’s dead.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Dating Relationships Situations

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Dating Relationships Sex

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

Dating Men People Sex Women