Subject: Relationships (Page 11)

[Kerry is trying to figure out how to break up with Kyle] Bridget: Just use the line I use when I break up with a guy.

Kerry: “I’m only seventeen, you’ll go to jail”?

(1979 – ) American actress
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome. And then, of course, you spoke.

(1963 – ) American actress, film director & screenwriter
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men Relationships Time

My uncle's dying wish – he wanted me on his lap; he was in the electric chair.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Death Relationships

My boyfriend and I broke up; he wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Relationships

The number of person's relatives is directly proportional to his fame.

Family Murphy’s Laws Relationships

You know how embarrassing it is to walk with a girl on a first date and see somebody with the same shirt as you on – and they homeless?

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Dating Relationships

I come from a stupid family… during the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Intelligence Relationships Stupidity

My fiancé and I are having a little disagreement; what I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no-expense-spared reception; what he wants is to break off our engagement.


Dating Marriage Relationships

My grandfather was actually a Holocaust survivor, and you can tell that it really affected him because to this day, he still will not walk into a gas chamber.

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Relationships Situations

Go, and never darken my towels again.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Relationships

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me; I know guys I wouldn’t go out with.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Dating Relationships

A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations – but they all will console themselves with another man.

(1899 – 1978) French actor
England People Places Relationships

You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it; but first let me introduce myself.

(1982 – ) American author
Emotions Love Relationships

You still chase women, but only downhill.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Dating Old

If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs

Book Titles Relationships Sex

Lester: I told you I’m putty in your hands.
Halley: What am I gonna do with a handful of putty?

(1945 – ) American model, activist & actress
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Definitions Relationships

I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Relationships

In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk… ladies, you fake orgasms… we fake listening.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Men People Relationships Women

I took a girl out on a date the other night and I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually, you know, because I was out of chloroform and rags.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian
Dating Sex