Relationships | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Relationships (Page 12)

It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.

Uma Thurman

Relationships

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

Judy Tenuta

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian

Characteristics Dating Relationships Suicide

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Age Animals Books Communication Dogs Intelligence Reading/Writing Relationships Situations Juries

I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.

Abraham Lincoln

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

Friends People Relationships Success Young Disappointment

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.

Linda Festa

Men Relationships Women Taking orders

My son has taken up meditation… at least it's better than sitting around doing nothing.

Max Kaufman

typographer

Relationships Situations Meditation Son

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Men People Relationships

When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he's dead.

Judith Viorst

(1931 – ) American author & newspaper journalist

Death Relationships Affairs

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Relationships Self Family tree Geneology

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Dating Relationships Necking

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

Margaret Smith

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer

Dating Entertainment Music Relationships

You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it; but first let me introduce myself.

Jarod Kintz

(1982 – ) American author

Emotions Love Relationships

Bitch Are You Retarded?: Stop Being a Dumbass! Either He Loves You, He’s in Love with You, or You’re Just Something to Do for Right Now….

Carlos J. Lee

Book Titles Relationships

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around, and I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

Chelsea Handler

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

Alcohol Dating Food/Drink Relationships

When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face; that's the price she has to pay.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes As Otis B. Driftwood in “A Night at the Opera”

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

Anonymous

Dating Definitions Relationships Courtesy

If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date.

Olin Miller

(1918 - 2002) American author

Dating Relationships Situations Frontiers

When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.

Mitch Hedberg

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Relationships Beds Brothers

She was hostile: you don’t have an orgasm and say to your lover, ‘Take that!'

Richard Lewis

(1947 – ) comedian & actor

Relationships Sex

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Anonymous

Definitions Relationships Courtship

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Subject: Relationships (Page 12)

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.

My son has taken up meditation… at least it's better than sitting around doing nothing.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he's dead.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it; but first let me introduce myself.

Bitch Are You Retarded?: Stop Being a Dumbass! Either He Loves You, He’s in Love with You, or You’re Just Something to Do for Right Now….

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around, and I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face; that's the price she has to pay.

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date.

When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.

She was hostile: you don’t have an orgasm and say to your lover, ‘Take that!'

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.