Subject: Relationships (Page 12)

Many a necklace becomes a noose.

(1888 – 1982) American writer
Dating Marriage Men People Relationships Women

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Relationships Situations

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee later than others.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People Relationships

The only difference in the game of love over the last few thousand years is that they've changed trumps from clubs to diamonds.

Emotions Love Relationships

Only thing that’s worse than walking in on your parents making love is walking in on your grandparents making love.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Age Family Relationships Sex

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, then dropped me as soon as he’d scored.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Dating Men People Relationships

Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
People Relationships Women

You might be a redneck if… the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks Relationships

I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they’re just as scared of me.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Relationships Self

Familiarity breeds attempt.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Relationships Sex Wordplay

You know what they say: ‘Once you go black… your parents don’t talk to you anymore.'

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating People Relationships

I like to date school teachers; if you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Dating Sex

Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it’s really no fun lying to them anymore.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I took a girl out on a date the other night and I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually, you know, because I was out of chloroform and rags.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian
Dating Sex

They say that breaking up is hard to do – but it's much easier with a restraining order and a Rottweiler.

American actress
Dating Relationships

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
People Relationships Time Women

A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations – but they all will console themselves with another man.

(1899 – 1978) French actor
England People Places Relationships

I’m still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Age Dating Relationships

He that lies down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Dogs Relationships

My boyfriend and I broke up; he wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Relationships