Subject: Relationships (Page 14)

He was really into family… he'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating Relationships

Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee later than others.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People Relationships

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

(1967 – ) American actor & producer
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Relations are a tedious lot of people who don’t know how to live or when to die.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Insults Relationships

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Relationships

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage Relationships Wives

When I die, I want it to be on my 100the birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.

(1961 – ) American actress
Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

My God, we've had cloning in the South for years… it's called cousins.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
America Places Relationships Science/Weather

The search for someone to blame is always successful.

businessman
Characteristics Relationships Success

There were many reasons we broke up; there was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

American actor & comedian
Beliefs Girlfriends Relationships Religion

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches, but since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.

(1982 – ) American author
Appearance Hair Relationships

We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Relationships Situations

You might be a redneck if… your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Divorce Marriage People Rednecks Relationships

Peerless Pauline: I’ve waited so long to find someone like you.

J. Cheever Loophole: Oh, someone like me, I’m not good enough for you, eh?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I took a girl out on a date the other night and I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually, you know, because I was out of chloroform and rags.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian
Dating Sex

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? … It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Relationships Situations

Are we simply romantically challenged… or are we sluts.

(1965 – ) American actress, model, singer & producer
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number… she looked great going down the stairs.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Dating Relationships

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family… in another city.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Emotions Family Happiness Relationships

In the race for love, I was scratched.

Emotions Love Relationships

Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

(1837 – 1920) American author
Insults People Relationships Time