Subject: Relationships (Page 3)

I’m still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Age Dating Relationships

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Communication Dating Relationships Wordplay

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both seems like carelessness.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Family Parents Relationships

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.


Men Relationships Women

My son has taken up meditation… at least it's better than sitting around doing nothing.

typographer
Relationships Situations

My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman; still, I've got another three goes.


Dating Relationships

Courtship: When a fellow and a girl are always trying to show how smart he is.

Definitions Relationships

A family vacation is when you go away with the people you need to get away from.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Family Relationships

I’ve been single for so long now, when somebody says to me, ‘Who are you with?’, I automatically say: ‘Vodafone.’

(1972 – ) English actress & comedian
Relationships

She was another of his near Mrs.

Communication Language Marriage Relationships Wordplay

When I die, I want it to be on my 100the birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.

(1961 – ) American actress
Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Relationships

The search for someone to blame is always successful.

businessman
Characteristics Relationships Success

When you ask a girl out and she suggest a bar, you're answer shouldn't be “Great, I like that bar and they’ll have the Rockets game on too.”

(1983 – ) American comedian
Dating Relationships

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me; I know guys I wouldn’t go out with.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Dating Relationships

Courtship: A man pursuing a woman until she catches him.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Why don't you come up and see me sometime, when I got nothing on but the radio?

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Clothing Dating Relationships

Dates are basically where I go out and I act like someone I'm not until the person likes me enough to be who I actually am.

writer & comedian
Characteristics Dating People Relationships Self

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Family Mothers People Relationships Time Women

There’s always one teacher you had a crush on; for me, it’s my wife’s aerobics instructor.

comedian
Education Relationships

Men, I feel, are like wine – before buying, a real connoisseur takes a small sip, and spits them out.

(1936 – 1993) British writer
Men People Relationships