Subject: Relationships (Page 5)

I'm single now, and it's really weird for me to be dating again because, for the last three years, I've just been cheating.

American comedian
Dating Divorce Marriage Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

You know what they say: ‘Once you go black… your parents don’t talk to you anymore.'

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating People Relationships

A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations – but they all will console themselves with another man.

(1899 – 1978) French actor
England People Places Relationships

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.

comedian
Dating Eating Food/Drink Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your on your first date you had to ask your dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Dating People Rednecks

She plucked from my lapel the invisible strand of lint (the universal act of women to proclaim ownership).

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
People Relationships Women

I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think… I don’t know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself… you know these kind of girls: ‘I'm hot. I’m on fire… Me, me, me.’

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Dating Relationships

I’d like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Dating Family Relationships

My grandfather was actually a Holocaust survivor, and you can tell that it really affected him because to this day, he still will not walk into a gas chamber.

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Relationships Situations

When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face; that's the price she has to pay.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Relationships Time

I remember when Grandpa’s memories started to go; it was the day I caught him urinating with the door open… which is not a huge deal, but it’s annoying when I’m trying to drive.

Canadian comedian & actor
Intelligence Memory Relationships Situations

My cousin is gay; I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Relationships

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine – we were both crazy about girls.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dating Girls People Women

Courtship: When a fellow and a girl are always trying to show how smart he is.

Definitions Relationships

Love matches are formed by people who pay for a month of honey with a life of vinegar.

(Countess of Blessington) (1789 – 1849) Irish novelist
Relationships

The number of person's relatives is directly proportional to his fame.

Family Murphy’s Laws Relationships

Regarding my family, I’m the youngest of three; my parents are both older.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Age Family Relationships

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Dance Family Past Relationships Situations Things Time

Courtship: A man pursuing a woman until she catches him.

Dating Definitions Relationships