Subject: Relationships (Page 6)

You might be a redneck if… your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.

(1962 – ) American actress
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Relationships

You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it; but first let me introduce myself.

(1982 – ) American author
Emotions Love Relationships

When you ask a girl out and she suggest a bar, you're answer shouldn't be “Great, I like that bar and they’ll have the Rockets game on too.”

(1983 – ) American comedian
Dating Relationships

If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Dating Relationships Situations

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Intelligence Relationships Stupidity

Dates are basically where I go out and I act like someone I'm not until the person likes me enough to be who I actually am.

writer & comedian
Characteristics Dating People Relationships Self

A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations – but they all will console themselves with another man.

(1899 – 1978) French actor
England People Places Relationships

In Genesis it says that it is not good for a man to be alone… but sometimes it is a great relief.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Men People Relationships

Eventually soul mates meet, for they have the same hiding place.

American writer
People Relationships

Poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Money Relationships

An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Friends People Relationships

My grandmother buried three husbands… and two of them were only napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Marriage Relationships

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Relationships Situations

You might be a redneck if… your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Divorce Marriage People Rednecks Relationships

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Appearance Dating Murphy’s Laws People Relationships

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Dating Entertainment Music Relationships

I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Dating Relationships

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

Dating Definitions Relationships

When I’m not in a relationship, I shave one leg, so when I sleep, it feels like I’m with a woman.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Relationships