Subject: Relationships (Page 6)

Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night; the only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Dating Sex Situations

I have a lifetime appointment and I intend to serve it; I expect to die at 110, shot by a jealous husband.

(1908 – 1993) U.S. Supreme Court justice
Death Relationships Situations

Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.

(1962 – ) American actress
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

He was really into family… he'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating Relationships

Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.

Family Proverbs Relationships

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

American comedian
Men Relationships Sex Women

A family vacation is when you go away with the people you need to get away from.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Family Relationships

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage Relationships Wives

Regarding my family, I’m the youngest of three; my parents are both older.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Age Family Relationships

I like my coffee like I like my men… I don’t drink coffee.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your grandfather died and left everything to his widow; but she can’t touch it until she's fourteen.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Definitions Relationships

Eventually soul mates meet, for they have the same hiding place.

American writer
People Relationships

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Dating Relationships

George: She calls me up at my office. She says, “We have to talk.”
Jerry: Ugh. The four worst words in the English language.
George: That or “Whose bra is this?”

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.

(1880 – ?) American author
Dating People Relationships

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid; girls got pinned, not nailed.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Age Dating Sex

Burt Reynolds once asked me out… I was in his room.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
People Relationships

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, then dropped me as soon as he’d scored.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Dating Men People Relationships

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Family Relationships Sex

You want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Communication Girlfriends Marriage Relationships Speech