Subject: Relationships (Page 7)

Eventually soul mates meet, for they have the same hiding place.

American writer
People Relationships

My uncle's actually from Brooklyn, New York; … instead of saying, 'What time is it?,' he'll say, 'Get outta here – I'm drunk.'

stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Places Relationships

If you talk about yourself, he’ll think you’re boring; if you talk about others, he’ll think you’re a gossip; if you talk about him, he’ll think you’re a brilliant conversationalist.

Communication Dating Intelligence Speech

My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman; still, I've got another three goes.


Dating Relationships

Billy Almon has all of his inlaws and outlaws here this afternoon.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Family Misspokements Relationships

A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

Family Money Relationships

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Family Mothers People Relationships Time Women

I change girlfriends every seven years, a habit I picked up from broken mirrors.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Dating Girlfriends People Relationships

The man’s desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Men People Relationships

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dating Hair

I can do some things now that I couldn't do when I was 17, like date high school girls.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Age Dating Girls People Relationships Young

They say that breaking up is hard to do – but it's much easier with a restraining order and a Rottweiler.

American actress
Dating Relationships

Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night; the only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Dating Sex Situations

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dating Relationships

A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him… Why? … I was the only one without a cat.

(1952 – ) comedian
Animals Cats Dating Relationships

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Appearance Dating Murphy’s Laws People Relationships

Personally, I think that if a woman hasn’t met the right man by the time she’s twenty-four, she may be lucky.

(1921 – 2007) Scottish-born actress
Men People Relationships Women

I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number; it started with 555.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Dating

It is not necessary to have relatives in Kansas City to be unhappy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Family Insults Places Relationships

Men are easy to get but hard to keep.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Relationships

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Relationships