Subject: Reviews/Criticism (Page 25)

Boat Trip arrives preceded by publicity saying many homosexuals have been outraged by the film. Now that it's in theaters, everybody else has a chance to join them. Not that the film is outrageous. That would be asking too much. It is dim-witted, unfunny, too shallow to be offensive…

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

This report, by its very length, defends itself against being read.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

Fool! Dost thou not know that creepy children have cursed our screens in numbers too great to count, and by now, we find them marginally less terrifying than navel lint?

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

Perhaps the only use this film has is to give philosophers who sit through it some way of experiencing what eternity truly means.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

Fred Astaire looks as if he has just rolled out of his tomb, and Gene Kelly sports a toupee that looks borrowed from Howard Cosell for the occasion.

film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

[An] utterly incompetent, painfully unfunny, ploddingly dull waste of time, money and life.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

My poor brain hung in there for as long as it could, but it lost its grip during the giant chicken attack and I haven’t seen it since.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

If you want to see what happens when independent filmmakers have too much money and don’t know what to do with it, just go see Bee Season.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Sometimes he was inaudible – those were his best moments.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Reviews/Criticism

Troy is based on the epic poem The Iliad by Homer, according to the credits. Homer’s estate should sue.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

I rented The Cool Surface last week; words can't describe how awful it is. I'm a big Teri Hatcher fan, but a rental… is $2.75 thrown down the drain. Save your money by reading the attached plot synopsis: 
[WARNING: spoiler follows] Teri Hatcher has breasts. They look OK.

Reviews/Criticism

A giant turd of a movie that was made because someone had the rights to a brand name and needed to exercise them in a timely manner.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

God help us, there’s going to be a director’s cut, isn’t there?

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

It’s obvious that nobody believed in this project longer than it took for the check to clear.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

I suppose certain college fraternities could make screening it part of their hazing rituals.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

The first time I saw you on stage I realized what a wonderful voice you've got; I think you're so brave not to have had it trained.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Acting Insults Reviews/Criticism

I hate The Lone Ranger as much as The Lone Ranger hates The Lone Ranger.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

If you hear the phrase "Italian caveman epic" and your heart doesn't sing at least a little bit, then I pity your sad and joyless existence.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

I suppose this is what we get for encouraging the man.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

About the only thing this cinematic whirligig skimps on is coherence, both narrative and aesthetic.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism