Subject: Reviews/Criticism (Page 4)

It's a car movie made by people who couldn't find reverse in a Volkswagen; a puzzle box thriller assembled by the functionally insane.

writer, editor & film reviewer

Only someone so smart could make a movie this stupid.

writer, editor & film reviewer

If I were a cop and I had seen both Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer, I'd be at writer Kevin Williamson’s house searching it for drugs. If I didn't find something, I'd plant a kilo of heroin in his ass for writing this piece of crap.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Michael Madsen? Michelle Rodriguez? ‘I’ll take “Actors Who Should Never Appear in Period Pieces” for $500, Alex.’

writer, editor & film reviewer

His pictures seem to resemble not pictures but a sample book of patterns of linoleum.

(1890 – 1954) British critic

Fred Astaire looks as if he has just rolled out of his tomb, and Gene Kelly sports a toupee that looks borrowed from Howard Cosell for the occasion.

film reviewer

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

writer, editor & film reviewer

I would accuse American Reunion of being misogynistic, but the movie seems to hold all of humanity in contempt, not just women.

film critic

This poem will not reach its destination.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

The audience would have booed and hissed after the first act, but you can't do that and yawn at the same time.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Not nearly as awful as everyone seems to think it is.

film reviewer

The weird part about the advertising for Midnight in Paris is that it wasn't at all presented as some kind of time travel fantasy, which meant I left my aviator goggles and opium ampoules at home.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Pearl Harbor is a two-hour movie squeezed into three hours…

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

The Citizen Kane of sperm-donor comedies.

film editor, writer & reviewer

Think of it as a carefully constructed entertainment for the benefit of people who really, really like beer commercials.

(1962 – ) British journalist & film critic

Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Identity Thief starts off moronic and then goes downhill.

British broadcaster, writer & film critic

If I were married to her, I’d be sure to have dinner ready when she got home.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman

If you want to see what happens when independent filmmakers have too much money and don’t know what to do with it, just go see Bee Season.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

It's not music, it's a disease.

(1911 – 2010) American bandleader

Amateurishness can have its charms. But when it doesn’t, it looks very much like this excruciatingly farcical, alleged romantic comedy…

film critic