Subject: Reviews/Criticism (Page 4)

There isn't enough Visine in the world!

musician & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

After Earth merits comparison with 2000’s Battlefield Earth, John Travolta’s godawful film tribute to the sci-fi novel by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. Yes, it’s that bad.

American film critic & televison interviewer
Reviews/Criticism

One can’t judge Wagner’s opera Lohengrin after a first hearing, and I certainly don’t intend hearing it a second time.

(1792 – 1868) Italian composer
Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

It’s a death march with cocktails.

American journalist
Reviews/Criticism

It defines boredom by mostly being boring about it.

movie writer, reviewer & columnist
Reviews/Criticism

Overheard at the pitch meeting: “So what if The Terminator was like, um… a sexy lady in a red leather get-up?” “Sold!”

film editor, writer & reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

Nowadays Mitchum doesn’t so much act as point his suit at people.

(1946 – ) British journalist & broadcaster
Acting Reviews/Criticism

Negative reviews seem to slide off Pia’s back like discarded mink coats.

(1946 – ) filmmaker, actor & writer
Reviews/Criticism

My name is Bob, and I am a father who is very afraid.

movie writer, reviewer & columnist
Reviews/Criticism

I’d rather spend my 180 minutes seeing how hard a 400-pound gorilla can tighten a vise around my penis before I pass out from the pain.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

A friend of mine recently joked that his mobile phone will beat Magnus Carlsen; I said, ‘What are you talking about? My microwave could beat Magnus Carlsen.’

(1965 – ) British chess grandmaster & chess writer
Activities Reviews/Criticism

Beware geeks bearing scripts.

Reviews/Criticism

About the only redeeming features of The Sweetest Thing is that for a few minutes of the film, Cameron Diaz cavorts around in her underwear, and also sings a song about penises… and even that’s not half as good as it sounds on paper.

Reviews/Criticism

Barb Wire is unlikely to spark heated intellectual debate at film schools anytime soon.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

I’m glad it wasn’t that bad.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

Add it all up, and what you’ve got here is a waste of good electricity. I’m not talking about the electricity between the actors. I’m talking about the current to the projector.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

When Mr. Wilbur calls his play ‘Halfway to Hell,’ he underestimates the distance.

(1894 – 1984) theatre critic
Communication Reviews/Criticism

Hard to tell whether somebody wanted to make a pretentious allegory and threw in a naked Melanie Griffith to help market it, or just wanted to market a naked Melanie Griffith and threw in a pretentious allegory as justification.

Reviews/Criticism

This Mamet adaptation takes place in a very confined space, involves little or no action and is mostly concerned with how many minutes an actor can spew Mamet's laborious dialogue without collapsing.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

It’s boring.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

In space no one can hear you yawn.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism