Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Thursday, April 3, 2025
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Subject:
Reviews/Criticism
(Page 4)
It's a car movie made by people who couldn't find reverse in a Volkswagen; a puzzle box thriller assembled by the functionally insane.
Rob Vaux
writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
“Getaway”
Only someone so smart could make a movie this stupid.
Rob Vaux
writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
“My Soul to Take”
Writer/director Wes Craven
If I were a cop and I had seen both
Scream
and
I Know What You Did Last Summer,
I'd be at writer Kevin Williamson’s house searching it for drugs. If I didn't find something, I'd plant a kilo of heroin in his ass for writing this piece of crap.
Mr. Cranky
(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism
“I Know What You Did Last Summer”
Michael Madsen? Michelle Rodriguez? ‘I’ll take “Actors Who Should Never Appear in Period Pieces” for $500, Alex.’
Rob Vaux
writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
“Bloodrayne”
His pictures seem to resemble not pictures but a sample book of patterns of linoleum.
Cyril Asquith
(1890 – 1954) British critic
Reviews/Criticism
Paintings
Fred Astaire looks as if he has just rolled out of his tomb, and Gene Kelly sports a toupee that looks borrowed from Howard Cosell for the occasion.
Matt Bailey
film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
“That’s Entertainment 2”
Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!
Rob Vaux
writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
“Shark Tale”
I would accuse American Reunion of being misogynistic, but the movie seems to hold all of humanity in contempt, not just women.
Devin Faraci
film critic
Reviews/Criticism
This poem will not reach its destination.
Voltaire
(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Reviews/Criticism
On Jean Baptiste Rousseau's ode “To Posterity”
The audience would have booed and hissed after the first act, but you can't do that and yawn at the same time.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism
Theater
Not nearly as awful as everyone seems to think it is.
Matt Bailey
film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
“Plan 9 from Outer Space”
The weird part about the advertising for
Midnight in Paris
is that it wasn't at all presented as some kind of time travel fantasy, which meant I left my aviator goggles and opium ampoules at home.
Mr. Cranky
(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism
“Midnight in Paris”
Pearl Harbor
is a two-hour movie squeezed into three hours…
Roger Ebert
(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism
Pearl Harbor
The Citizen Kane of sperm-donor comedies.
Scott Tobias
film editor, writer & reviewer
Reviews/Criticism
Of “Starbuck”
Think of it as a carefully constructed entertainment for the benefit of people who really, really like beer commercials.
Anthony Lane
(1962 – ) British journalist & film critic
Reviews/Criticism
Of the film “Lock
Stock and Two Smoking Barrels”
Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Insults
Reviews/Criticism
Henry James
Identity Thief
starts off moronic and then goes downhill.
Christopher Tookey
British broadcaster, writer & film critic
Driving
Reviews/Criticism
“Identity Thief”
If I were married to her, I’d be sure to have dinner ready when she got home.
George Schultz
(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
People
Reviews/Criticism
About Margaret Thatcher
If you want to see what happens when independent filmmakers have too much money and don’t know what to do with it, just go see Bee Season.
Mr. Cranky
(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism
“Bee Season”
It's not music, it's a disease.
Mitch Miller
(1911 – 2010) American bandleader
Entertainment
Music
Reviews/Criticism
Of rock'n'roll
Amateurishness can have its charms. But when it doesn’t, it looks very much like this excruciatingly farcical, alleged romantic comedy…
James Adams
film critic
Reviews/Criticism
“The Corner Shop”
Page 4 of 28
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