Subject: Science/Weather (Page 12)

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

It ain’t the heat; it’s the humility.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Heat Malaprops Science/Weather Yogi-isms

Well, evolution’s just a “theory;”  and, I’m thinking to myself, ‘Well, thank goodness gravity’s a law.'

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Science/Weather

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Science/Weather Situations

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Science/Weather

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Wordplay

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

I lived in a house that ran on static electricity… if you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head; if you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Autos Science/Weather Situations Things

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People Science/Weather

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.

author
Alcohol Food/Drink Science/Weather

I played as  much golf as I could in North Dakota, but summer up there is pretty short. It usually falls on Tuesday.

professional golfer
Science/Weather

Any man that has never seen a baby emerge from another person’s body will walk around for months just going, ‘Oh my God; what else don’t I know about Planet Earth?’

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Children Family Science/Weather

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Appearance Body Insults Science/Weather

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Definitions Science/Weather

Brace Yourselves for a Good 12 inches!

Headlines Science/Weather

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Computers Future Science/Weather Things Time

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather