Subject: Science/Weather (Page 12)

Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.

Definitions Science/Weather

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Well, evolution’s just a “theory;”  and, I’m thinking to myself, ‘Well, thank goodness gravity’s a law.'

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Science/Weather

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian
Education School Science/Weather

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice… but, in practice, there is.

(1953 – 1994) Dutch computer scientist & educator
Science/Weather

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Money Science/Weather

It is so hot… Ed is actually putting ice in his Scotch.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Heat Science/Weather

Chance of Rain Today Depends On Where You LIve

Headlines Science/Weather

The sky is falling… no, I'm tipping over backwards.


Science/Weather Situations

I don’t know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence Mind Science/Weather

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

Science/Weather Wordplay

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Science/Weather

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Places Science/Weather Things

Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In the Cold

Cold Headlines

Why Aren’t Humans Still Evolving Into Monkeys?

Science/Weather Signs

Bodies in motion tend to remain in motion; bodies at rest tend to remain in bed.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Facts Science/Weather

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Science/Weather

The word 'spermicide' sounds like something sperms would do as a last resort; 'I'm not going out there anymore. I can't take it.'

stand-up comedian & actor
Language Science/Weather

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Science/Weather