Subject: Science/Weather (Page 13)

Fifty percent of people have a below-average understanding of statistics.

People Science/Weather

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Computers Science/Weather Things

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian
Education School Science/Weather

A hurricane you can watch come at you for a week on the TV, and you don't get out of the way; a tornado – you're just in a trailer making meth; next thing you know, it's tipped over.

Canadian comedian
Science/Weather

If a scientist were to cut his ear off, no one would take it as evidence of a heightened sensibility.

(1915 – 1987) Brazilian/British biologist
Intelligence Occupations Science/Weather Work

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

I can levitate birds… no one cares.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Science/Weather

The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the length of the passing zone.

Activities Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Genetic Engineering: Tampering with chromosomes so that science might develop a new miracle cure or a rabbit that plays the banjo. –

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.

Expressions Heat Science/Weather

Well, evolution’s just a “theory;”  and, I’m thinking to myself, ‘Well, thank goodness gravity’s a law.'

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Science/Weather

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Cold Places Science/Weather

Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.

Activities Definitions Drugs Science/Weather

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Clothing Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Science/Weather

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Science/Weather Things

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Wordplay

It was so cold… we didn't clean the house – we just defrosted it.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather