Subject: Science/Weather (Page 13)

Show me an archaeologist, and I’ll show you a man who practices skull drudgery.

Science/Weather Wordplay

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Science/Weather

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra; in real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Education Learning Life Science/Weather

No experiment is reproducible.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People Science/Weather

You might be a redneck if… you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Science/Weather

It is so hot… the trees are whistling for the dogs.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

American professional golfer
Golf Science/Weather Sports

It was so cold… I chipped a tooth on my soup.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.

Murphy’s Laws People Science/Weather

Large Celestial Object Stuns Astronomers

Headlines Science/Weather

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

A hurricane you can watch come at you for a week on the TV, and you don't get out of the way; a tornado – you're just in a trailer making meth; next thing you know, it's tipped over.

Canadian comedian
Science/Weather

In mathematics you don't understand things… you just get used to them.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

Emotions Love Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

There will be a procession next Sunday afternoon in the grounds of the monastery; but if it rains in the afternoon, the procession will take place in the morning.

Church Bulletins Science/Weather

It was so cold… my shadow froze to the sidewalk.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour; sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute; that’s relativity.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Heat Science/Weather

Going fast while you are lost won't help a bit.

Science/Weather Situations

I shop at a computer store called 'Your Crap's Already Obsolete.'

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer
Science/Weather

The National Academy of Sciences would be unable to give a unanimous decision if asked whether the sun would rise tomorrow.

(1932 – ) American biologist & educator
Science/Weather