Subject: Science/Weather (Page 14)

Not all chemicals are bad; without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Science/Weather

Going fast while you are lost won't help a bit.

Science/Weather Situations

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.

(1943 – 2004) author & psychologist
Science/Weather

What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts – not the facts themselves.

Facts Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

(1913 – 1996) Hungarian mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

I don’t know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence Mind Science/Weather

I am an expert of electricity; my father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Science/Weather

Every scientific truth goes through three states: first, people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered before; lastly, they say they always believed it.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Beliefs Facts Science/Weather

It was so cold… we had lunch at the "Greasy Spoon" – just for the heartburn.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

We shall never be content until man makes his own weather and keeps it to himself.

(1859 – 1927) English writer
Science/Weather

If a thing cannot be fitted into something smaller than itself, some dope will do it.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains constant as twilight approaches.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

If [the weather] didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Conversation People Science/Weather Speech

Megahertz: this is a really, really big hertz.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Science/Weather

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Communication Language Science/Weather

It is best to read the weather forecast before we pray for rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Intelligence Science/Weather

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Appearance Body Insults Science/Weather

Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Cold New York City Places Science/Weather Situations

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Body Mothers Science/Weather

The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.

(1857 – 1927) Unitarian Universalist minister
Facts Science/Weather

If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.

Facts Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather