Subject: Science/Weather (Page 14)

Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’, but ‘That’s funny…’

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Communication Science/Weather Speech

Trees that grow in smoggy cities are needed to make carbon paper.

comedian
Science/Weather

Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which otherwise require harder thinking.

(1920 – 2011) American scientist & professor
Science/Weather

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.

American entrepreneur
Science/Weather

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Life Science/Weather

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Body Mothers Science/Weather

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

(1912 – 1977) German-born rocket engineer
Science/Weather

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.

Definitions Science/Weather

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Places Science/Weather Stupidity

It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.

Expressions Heat Science/Weather

The earth is bipolar.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

There are two kinds of light — the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Science/Weather

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

On the downside, it's loaded with sexual predators; on the plus side, it's also loaded with sexual prey.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Crime Science/Weather Sex

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Science/Weather

It's always the wrong time of the month.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Sex Time

Five out of every three people have trouble understanding fractions.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Science/Weather Wordplay