Subject: Science/Weather (Page 14)

Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
People Science/Weather

It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks grey?

(1973 – ) American comedian
Animals Science/Weather

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Places Science/Weather World

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Science/Weather

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.

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Alcohol Food/Drink Science/Weather

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Clothing Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

We shall never be content until man makes his own weather and keeps it to himself.

(1859 – 1927) English writer
Science/Weather

Sleet: A slipcover.

Definitions Science/Weather

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Clothing Science/Weather

Well, evolution’s just a “theory;”  and, I’m thinking to myself, ‘Well, thank goodness gravity’s a law.'

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Science/Weather

You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.


Science/Weather

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Equations are the devil’s sentences.

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Science/Weather

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

I lived in a house that ran on static electricity… if you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head; if you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Places Science/Weather

If a scientist were to cut his ear off, no one would take it as evidence of a heightened sensibility.

(1915 – 1987) Brazilian/British biologist
Intelligence Occupations Science/Weather Work

Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It’s a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Science/Weather TV/Movie Quotes

Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In the Cold

Cold Headlines