Subject: Science/Weather (Page 15)

It is so hot… I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Everything else causes cancer in rats.

Animals Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself… and you are the easiest person to fool.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
People Science/Weather Self

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

I can levitate birds… no one cares.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Science/Weather

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Money Science/Weather

I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? “OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.

Life Science/Weather

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the
 road an hour.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Science/Weather Things

The most serious charge which can be brought against New England is not Puritanism but February.

(1893 – 1970) American writer, critic & naturalist
Cold Places Science/Weather

You're flickin' around, all of a sudden – boom – you're watching a mole for an hour-and-a-half.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment Science/Weather Television

Who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.

(1859 – 1927) English writer
Science/Weather

It ain’t the heat; it’s the humility.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Heat Malaprops Science/Weather Yogi-isms

Scientists who dislike the restraints of highly organized research like to remark that a truly great research worker needs only three pieces of equipment – a pencil, a piece of paper, and a brain… but they quote this maxim more often at academic banquets than at budget hearings.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

Brace Yourselves for a Good 12 inches!

Headlines Science/Weather

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.

(1943 – 2004) author & psychologist
Science/Weather

You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director
Places Science/Weather

Everything is cold except what should be.

Cold Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Science/Weather Things