Subject: Science/Weather (Page 15)

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it’s modern architecture.

(1929 – ) British television & radio critic
Science/Weather

Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Facts Science/Weather

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

Language Science/Weather

No matter how clear the skies are, a thunderstorm will move in 5 minutes after the papers are delivered.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.

comedian, counselor & speaker
Death Science/Weather Success Wealth

Not all chemicals are bad; without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Science/Weather

I ran into Isosceles; he has a great idea for a new triangle!

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Science/Weather

Math Anxiety: An intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 mph.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

It is so hot… today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

The progress of science varies inversely with the number of journals published.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Science/Weather

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.

author
Alcohol Food/Drink Science/Weather

The scientific name for an animal that doesn’t either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.

(1947 – ) American philosopher of science
Animals Science/Weather

Five out of every three people have trouble understanding fractions.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Science/Weather Wordplay

The climate of England has been the world’s most powerful colonizing impulse.

England Government Places Science/Weather

What goes up must come down… but don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Science/Weather

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.

(1943 – 2004) author & psychologist
Science/Weather

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

The rain was coming down in droves!

Mixed metaphors Science/Weather

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations Things