Subject: Science/Weather (Page 16)

Styrofoam is biodegradable; you people are just impatient.

American comedian & writer
Science/Weather Time

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Life Science/Weather

In Alaska, we have just two seasons — this winter and next winter.

(1897 – 1991) American Air Force General
Places Science/Weather

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Wordplay

If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.

Facts Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

I have the heart of a child; I keep it in a jar on my shelf.

(1917 – 1994) American writer
Children Science/Weather

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Facts Science/Weather

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

It always rains on tents; rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Science/Weather

It is so hot… the trees are whistling for the dogs.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Science/Weather

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Entertainment Music Science/Weather

It's always the wrong time of the month.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Sex Time

The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the length of the passing zone.

Activities Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

I learned more about the economy from one South Dakota dust storm that I did in all my years of college.

(1911 – 1978) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Money Science/Weather

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra; in real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Education Learning Life Science/Weather

Cancun Temps Plunge to 100-Year Record Low During ‘Global Warming’ Summit!

Headlines Science/Weather

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

Megahertz: this is a really, really big hertz.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Science/Weather