Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Science/Weather
(Page 17)
Space isn’t remote at all; it’s only an hours drive away if your car could go straight upwards.
Fred Hoyle
(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Science/Weather
Distance
Space
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.
Tom Stoppard
(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Entertainment
Music
Science/Weather
Aviation
Beethoven
And tonight norther areas can expect incest and rain – I’m sorry,
incessant
rain.
Weather forecaster
Misspokements
Science/Weather
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Terry Pratchett
(1948 – ) English novelist
Science/Weather
Things
Operating Manual
Wary
Weight
It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather
Heat wave
Architecture is the art of how to waste space.
Philip Johnson
(1906 – 2005) architect
Science/Weather
Architecture
Space
Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Science/Weather
Science fiction
Sleet: A slipcover.
Anonymous
Definitions
Science/Weather
Sleet
What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English? It means 'liar.'
Lewis Black
(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Occupations
Science/Weather
Work
Meteorologists
The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn’t there the second time.
Willie Tyler
(1940 – ) American ventriloquist, comedian & actor
Science/Weather
Lightning
I have the oldest typewriter in the world; it types in pencil.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication
Science/Weather
Things
Pencils
Typewriters
Styrofoam
is
biodegradable; you people are just impatient.
David Feldman
American comedian & writer
Science/Weather
Time
Styrofoam
Everything else causes cancer in rats.
Arnold's Addendum
Animals
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Cancer
Rats
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Albert Einstein
(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Science/Weather
Counting
I have the heart of a child; I keep it in a jar on my shelf.
Robert Bloch
(1917 – 1994) American writer
Children
Science/Weather
Boys
Heart
Jar
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