Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Science/Weather
(Page 17)
I've been noticing gravity since I was very young.
Cameron Diaz
(1972 – ) American actress & former model
Intelligence
Science/Weather
Gravity
OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather
Dark
Speed
Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight; blue sky at night… day.
Tom Parry
Humorist
Science/Weather
I played as much golf as I could in North Dakota, but summer up there is pretty short. It usually falls on Tuesday.
Mike Morley
professional golfer
Science/Weather
On why he left North Dakota
Summer
It is so hot… today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
Styrofoam
is
biodegradable; you people are just impatient.
David Feldman
American comedian & writer
Science/Weather
Time
Styrofoam
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Dave Barry
(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Places
Science/Weather
Things
Universe
Genetic Engineering: Tampering with chromosomes so that science might develop a new miracle cure or a rabbit that plays the banjo. –
Rick Bayan
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions
Science/Weather
Genetic Engineering
The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.
Patrick Young
American entrepreneur
Science/Weather
Weather forecasting
I am an expert of electricity; my father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Science/Weather
Electricity
Chance of Rain Today Depends On Where You LIve
National Weather Service
Headlines
Science/Weather
Rain
The climate of England has been the world’s most powerful colonizing impulse.
Russell Green
England
Government
Places
Science/Weather
Art is science made clear.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Art
Science/Weather
It is so hot… the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements
Science/Weather
Al Gore
Internet
The scientific name for an animal that doesn’t either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.
Michael Friedman
(1947 – ) American philosopher of science
Animals
Science/Weather
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