Subject: Science/Weather (Page 2)

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian
Education School Science/Weather

I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Places Science/Weather

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Communication Language Science/Weather

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways; but he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Beliefs God Science/Weather

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra; in real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Education Learning Life Science/Weather

It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Ever notice how random chance always picks you for jury duty, but not to win the lottery?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Science/Weather Situations

Going fast while you are lost won't help a bit.

Science/Weather Situations

The scientific name for an animal that doesn’t either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.

(1947 – ) American philosopher of science
Animals Science/Weather

Space is almost infinite; as a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Places Science/Weather

It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Computers Future Science/Weather Things Time

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

Well, evolution’s just a “theory;”  and, I’m thinking to myself, ‘Well, thank goodness gravity’s a law.'

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Science/Weather

A lot of people like snow, but I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

(1922 – ) actor, film director, producer, writer & comedian
Science/Weather

Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

Emotions Love Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Wordplay

All science is either physics or stamp collecting.

(1871 – 1937) New Zealand-born British nuclear physicist
Science/Weather

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

Language Science/Weather

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Exaggerations Science/Weather