Subject: Science/Weather (Page 3)

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Science/Weather

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Science/Weather

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the
 road an hour.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Science/Weather Things

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Science/Weather Things

Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.

Activities Definitions Drugs Science/Weather

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Canada Hockey Places Science/Weather Sports

It is so hot… I saw a robin dipping his worm in iced tea.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Heat Science/Weather

Winter is nature’s way of saying, “Up yours.”

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Science/Weather

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Health Old Science/Weather

All science is either physics or stamp collecting.

(1871 – 1937) New Zealand-born British nuclear physicist
Science/Weather

We’re not used to weather in June in this country.

professional football player, coach & executive
England Misspokements Places Science/Weather

Never change your plans because of the weather.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

It is so hot… by the time I got home from buying eggs, I had twelve chicks in the bag.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

It ain't a fit night out for man or beast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Science/Weather

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Animals Science/Weather

You might be a redneck if… you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Science/Weather

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Appearance Body Insults Science/Weather

The word 'spermicide' sounds like something sperms would do as a last resort; 'I'm not going out there anymore. I can't take it.'

stand-up comedian & actor
Language Science/Weather

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Communication Science/Weather

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Science/Weather

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Science/Weather