Science/Weather | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Science/Weather (Page 3)

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.

Mickey Rivers

professional baseball player

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

Anonymous

Language Science/Weather Metric system

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web…. Now even my cat has its own page.

Animals Cats Science/Weather Time Internet

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Education School Science/Weather Gravity Teachers

May you be cursed with chronic anxiety about the weather.

John Burroughs

(1837 – 1921) naturalist & essayist

Characteristics Science/Weather Anxiety

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

Wernher von Braun

(1912 – 1977) German-born rocket engineer

Science/Weather Gravity Paperwork

The scientific name for an animal that doesn’t either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.

Michael Friedman

(1947 – ) American philosopher of science

Animals Science/Weather

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Anonymous

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Anonymous

Family Relationships Science/Weather Genetics Heredity

According to modern astronomers, space is finite; this is a very comforting thought – particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Places Science/Weather Space

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Anonymous

Definitions Science/Weather Statistics

What goes up must come down… but don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

Lily Tomlin

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer

Science/Weather

I shop at a computer store called 'Your Crap's Already Obsolete.'

Jeff Cesario

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer

Science/Weather Computer store

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

Terry Pratchett

(1948 – ) English novelist

Science/Weather Geography Physics Trees

It always rains on tents; rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Science/Weather Rain Tents

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

Anonymous

Exaggerations Science/Weather Dry

Science is Truth. Don't be misled by fact.

Finagle's Creed

Beliefs Facts Honesty Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Truth

The trouble isn’t that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn’t distributed right.

Mark Twain

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Fools Intelligence Science/Weather Distribution Lightning

In New England there are three times of year… either winter has just been, or winter is coming, or it’s winter.

Bill Bryson

American author

Places Science/Weather New England

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Paul Erdos Mathematician

(1913 – 1996) Hungarian mathematician

Occupations Science/Weather Work

Every scientific truth goes through three states: first, people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered before; lastly, they say they always believed it.

Louis Agassiz

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist

Beliefs Facts Science/Weather

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Subject: Science/Weather (Page 3)

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web…. Now even my cat has its own page.

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

May you be cursed with chronic anxiety about the weather.

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

The scientific name for an animal that doesn’t either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

According to modern astronomers, space is finite; this is a very comforting thought – particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

What goes up must come down… but don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

I shop at a computer store called 'Your Crap's Already Obsolete.'

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

It always rains on tents; rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

Science is Truth. Don't be misled by fact.

The trouble isn’t that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn’t distributed right.

In New England there are three times of year… either winter has just been, or winter is coming, or it’s winter.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Every scientific truth goes through three states: first, people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered before; lastly, they say they always believed it.