Subject: Science/Weather (Page 3)

Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In the Cold

Cold Headlines

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy.

(1819 – 1880) American oil driller
Science/Weather

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Technology: The knack of so arranging the world that we need not experience it.

(1911 – 1991) Swiss playwright & novelist
Definitions Science/Weather

The amount of time you have to wait for a bus is directly proportional to the inclemency of the weather.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra; in real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Education Learning Life Science/Weather

All science is either physics or stamp collecting.

(1871 – 1937) New Zealand-born British nuclear physicist
Science/Weather

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Normally you have news, weather and travel, but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel.

(1976 – ) English comedian & actor
Science/Weather

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’, but ‘That’s funny…’

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Communication Science/Weather Speech

It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold Places Science/Weather

I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? “OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.

Life Science/Weather

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

Every scientific truth goes through three states: first, people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered before; lastly, they say they always believed it.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Beliefs Facts Science/Weather

It was so cold… I chipped a tooth on my soup.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Cold Football Intelligence Places Sports

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it rains.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Money Science/Weather

A rolling stone gathers momentum.

Science/Weather Situations

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.

comedian, counselor & speaker
Death Science/Weather Success Wealth

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports