Subject: Science/Weather (Page 4)

What goes up must come down… but don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Science/Weather

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Computers Science/Weather Sex Things

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English? It means 'liar.'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Occupations Science/Weather Work

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Places Science/Weather Stupidity

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the length of the passing zone.

Activities Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science; Dennis Rodman is only one example.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Science/Weather

Anything, no matter how bad, will sound good if played at a very high volume for a short time.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

Chance of Rain Today Depends On Where You LIve

Headlines Science/Weather

Sleet: A slipcover.

Definitions Science/Weather

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

Winter is nature’s way of saying, “Up yours.”

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Science/Weather

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks grey?

(1973 – ) American comedian
Animals Science/Weather

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

Autumn is the most beautiful time of the year to the person who has no leaves to rake.

Science/Weather

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Definitions Science/Weather

The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Work

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self