Subject: Science/Weather (Page 6)

The progress of science varies inversely with the number of journals published.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Science/Weather

I have the oldest typewriter in the world; it types in pencil.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Science/Weather Things

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

It's always the wrong time of the month.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Sex Time

Remember folks, stop lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Autos Science/Weather Things

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Definitions Science/Weather

Bodies in motion tend to remain in motion; bodies at rest tend to remain in bed.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Entertainment Music Science/Weather

Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started down the road of professional basketball before an ankle injury diverted him to science.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
People Science/Weather

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Body Mothers Science/Weather

Never change your plans because of the weather.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.

(1955 – ) magician & showman
Science/Weather

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

It is so hot… I saw a robin dipping his worm in iced tea.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Heat Science/Weather

It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn’t there the second time.

(1940 – ) American ventriloquist, comedian & actor
Science/Weather

In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places Science/Weather

You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.


Science/Weather

No experiment is reproducible.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Science/Weather