Subject: Science/Weather (Page 7)

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Science/Weather

Bodies in motion tend to remain in motion; bodies at rest tend to remain in bed.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

(1912 – 1977) German-born rocket engineer
Science/Weather

Technology: The knack of so arranging the world that we need not experience it.

(1911 – 1991) Swiss playwright & novelist
Definitions Science/Weather

Calculus: The branch of mathematics that is so scary it causes everybody to stop studying mathematics.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Definitions Science/Weather

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Science/Weather Situations

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Time

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Facts Science/Weather

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Science/Weather

Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

The rain is coming down like gangbusters!

Mixed metaphors Science/Weather

Anything, no matter how bad, will sound good if played at a very high volume for a short time.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Cold Science/Weather

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Science/Weather Things

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.

(1955 – ) magician & showman
Science/Weather

Why are the pictures square if the lens is round?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

There is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist
Science/Weather

The most serious charge which can be brought against New England is not Puritanism but February.

(1893 – 1970) American writer, critic & naturalist
Cold Places Science/Weather

I put tape on the mirrors in my house, so that I won’t accidentally walk through another dimension.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Situations

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

Genetic Engineering: Tampering with chromosomes so that science might develop a new miracle cure or a rabbit that plays the banjo. –

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather