Subject: Science/Weather (Page 7)

I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing; Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Communication Language Science/Weather

The direction of take-off will be opposite that of the final destination.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Science/Weather Things

It's always the wrong time of the month.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Sex Time

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Art Democracy Government Science/Weather

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

It is easier to square the circle than to get round a mathematician.

(1806 – 1871) English mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Entertainment Music Science/Weather

There is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist
Science/Weather

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Life Science/Weather

A lot of people like snow, but I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

(1922 – ) actor, film director, producer, writer & comedian
Science/Weather

Science has always been too dignified to invent a good backscratcher.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Science/Weather Things

Not all chemicals are bad; without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Science/Weather

The rain is coming down like gangbusters!

Mixed metaphors Science/Weather

Everything is cold except what should be.

Cold Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Scientists who dislike the restraints of highly organized research like to remark that a truly great research worker needs only three pieces of equipment – a pencil, a piece of paper, and a brain… but they quote this maxim more often at academic banquets than at budget hearings.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold his penis… sorry – I mean ladder.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity