Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Friday, May 9, 2025
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Subject:
Science/Weather
(Page 9)
There's no place like home.com!
Proverb
Science/Weather
Internet
Technology
I put tape on the mirrors in my house, so that I won’t accidentally walk through another dimension.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather
Situations
Dimensions
Mirrors
I don’t believe in astrology… I’m a Sagittarian, and we’re skeptical.
Arthur C. Clarke
(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Beliefs
Science/Weather
Astrology
I've been noticing gravity since I was very young.
Cameron Diaz
(1972 – ) American actress & former model
Intelligence
Science/Weather
Gravity
Large Celestial Object Stuns Astronomers
The New Scientist
Headlines
Science/Weather
Science has always been too dignified to invent a good backscratcher.
Don Marquis
(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Science/Weather
Things
Backscratcher
My God, we've had cloning in the South for years… it's called cousins.
Robin Williams
(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
America
Places
Relationships
Science/Weather
Cloning
South
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People
Science/Weather
Adopted
Darwin
It is so hot… no shirt, no pants, no problem.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
I'm glad we don't have to play in the shade.
Bobby Jones
professional golfer
Golf
Heat
Science/Weather
Sports
On being told that the temperature in a tournament was 105 degrees in the shade
The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains constant as twilight approaches.
Barber's Third Law of Backpacking
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Backpacking
Campsites
Distance
Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It’s a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Science/Weather
TV/Movie Quotes
As Miles Monroe in “Sleeper”
I am an expert of electricity; my father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Science/Weather
Electricity
It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Anonymous
Family
Relationships
Science/Weather
Genetics
Heredity
It was a dry rain.
‘Yogi' Berra
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Science/Weather
Yogi-isms
Rain
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
George Carlin
(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Science/Weather
Endangered species
Space is almost infinite; as a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements
Places
Science/Weather
Infinity
Space
Normally you have news, weather and travel, but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel.
Michael McIntyre
(1976 – ) English comedian & actor
Science/Weather
News
Snow
Styrofoam
is
biodegradable; you people are just impatient.
David Feldman
American comedian & writer
Science/Weather
Time
Styrofoam
I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? “OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.
Aaron Fullerton
Life
Science/Weather
Computers
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