Subject: Sex

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Eating Food/Drink Sex

Familiarity breeds contempt… and children.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Children People Sex

I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard – day-in and day-out – just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it’s all over, he showers and goes to his job.

comedian
Men Sex

The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off.

(1889 – 1963) French poet, novelist, playwright, artist & filmmaker
Appearance Clothing Sex

I like to date school teachers; if you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Dating Sex

Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Definitions Sex

Only thing that’s worse than walking in on your parents making love is walking in on your grandparents making love.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Age Family Relationships Sex

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Sex

The trouble with incest is that it gets you involved with relatives.

typographer
Family Relationships Sex

A study shows that ninety per cent of men inflate the number of their sex partners, while the other ten per cent inflate their sex partners.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Men People Sex

I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher – they are going to make a board game out of it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex

Wrong verb.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Sex

Marriage has driven more than one man to sex.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Marriage Sex

I finally got her to watch a porno with me, and I did not get the reaction I was after; alright, I shouldn’t have started her off with one that I was in – that was a mistake.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

(Paul is licking wedding invitation envelopes) Jamie Buchman: How are you holding up?
Paul Buchman: Well, if I had two more tongues, I’d be the happiest person on Earth.
Jamie Buchman: (lights a cigarette) Second happiest.

(1963 – ) American actress, film director & screenwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Don't have sex… it leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Conversation Sex

Chastity: The most unnatural of the sexual perversions.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Sex

The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Dance Entertainment Music Sex

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

(1955– ) writer & screenwriter
Conversation Men People Sex Women

I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

Sex

The couple next door have just made a sex tape… obviously, they don’t know that yet.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Sex