Subject: Sex (Page 14)

Yes, I haven’t had enough sex.

(1906 – 1984) English poet, writer & broadcaster
Sex

I just kissed you, rubbed your chest, kissed you again in an impure manner – you never took your eyes off the TV! Ten years ago all I had to do was be awake… sometimes not even that!

(1958 – ) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Ideas Sex Situations

Physics is like sex; sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
Science/Weather Sex

They made love as though they were an endangered species.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Sex

I’ve never laughed a woman into bed, but I’ve laughed one out of bed many times.

(1988 – ) English comedian, television presenter & actor
Sex Situations

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.

(1895 – 1972) American director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation
Government Sex

I once made love to a female clown… she twisted my penis into a poodle.

Dan Whitney (1963 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice artist
Sex Situations

The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Travel

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex… except for salami and eggs; now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Life Sex

Niagara Falls: The bride’s second great disappointment.

Definitions Places Sex

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

Trust me, ladies, if you knew even for a second how we men really look at you, you would never stop slapping us.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Men People Sex Women

I saw a pair of knickers today on the front it said, “I would do anything for love” and on the back it said “but I won't do that.”

(1975 – ) English comedian
Emotions Love Sex

I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher – they are going to make a board game out of it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex

I rely on my personality for birth control.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Characteristics Sex

My girlfriend says that she thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover, but she hasn’t been able to catch him at it!

Marriage Sex

For guys, sex is like going to a restaurant, and no matter what you order off that menu, you walk out of there going, ‘Damn, that was good!'

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Men People Sex

Never laugh at your significant other when they're having an orgasm; that is their time to shine.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Emotions Laughter Sex

If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Characteristics Sex

I grew up… in a house filled with love… my cousin lived there and she put out.

(1950 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, writer, singer & producer
Relationships Sex