Subject: Sex (Page 16)

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Men Old People Sex Women

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Sex

Sex between two people is a beautiful thing – between five it's fantastic.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex

Men are people that have sex because they have a headache… or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Men People Sex

I had to go by the drug store to get some marital aids: breath mints for you and Wild Turkey for me!

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I have lowered my expectations, sexually; I don’t care what happens in bed anymore as long as I don’t make any grammatical errors.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

I’m at the age where food has taken over the role of sex in my life. In fact last night, I put a mirror over my kitchen table.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Food/Drink Self Sex

Recent surveys have shown that 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation; the rest just didn’t really think it was a problem.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Men People Sex

I'll get some aspirin and we caI’ll get some aspirin and we can sit here and solve the case of the wife who’s not getting any. n sit here and solve the case of the wife who's not getting any.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I’ve never laughed a woman into bed, but I’ve laughed one out of bed many times.

(1988 – ) English comedian, television presenter & actor
Sex Situations

Few men know how to kiss well. Fortunately, I've always had time to teach them.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Sex

I said to a girl I’d been seeing, “Come home with me, honey, and I’ll show you where it’s at.” She said, “You’d better, because the last time I couldn’t find it.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex Situations

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No Hard Feelings.”

Definitions Sex

The Catholics have an interesting view of sex; it is disgusting, amoral and filthy and you should save it for one you love.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian & filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Sex

Due to a court ruling, sex toys are now legal in Alabama; the whole state is buzzing.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Sex

Incest: in many parts of the Bible Belt, the most popular form of dating.

American author
Dating Relationships Sex

Al: How ya feeling, Peg? I’m surprised you could make it down those stairs this morning.

Peg: I know. I was pretty tired. I hope that buzzing didn’t keep you awake last night.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs God Sex

Boxers don’t have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don’t fancy each

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex

The trouble with incest is that it gets you involved with relatives.

typographer
Family Relationships Sex

A sexagenarian? At his age? I think that’s disgusting!

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Age Misspokements Old Sex TV/Movie Quotes