Subject: Sex (Page 22)

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way round.

(1935 – ) British author
Books Children Communication Family Life Reading/Writing Sex

I remember what I was doing the first time I told someone I loved them… I was lying to get sex.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Emotions Love Sex Situations

Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Food/Drink Sex

… geronomous zones and the floorplay, you spoil all the waddya call the mystiqueries of things.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Sex

Diseases Caused by Masturbation

Book Titles Sex

Love will find a lay.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Love Sex

My biggest fantasy in life is to have sex with two women… not in a night, but in my life.

comedian
Sex

Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.

Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

My wife wants sex in the back of the car… and she wants me to drive.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Driving Sex

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Men Old People Sex Women

80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said “Yes! Oh God, Yes!”

(1961 – ) American comedian, actor & talk show host
Sex

Were kisses all the joys in bed, one woman would another wed.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
People Sex Women

I've always have this fantasy to make love to two women – you know, in the same year.

television writer, actor
Sex

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Dating Relationships Sex

You were born with your legs apart; they'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Insults Sex

One day as I came home early from work… I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

My wife put a mirror over our bed; she says she likes to watch herself laugh.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Laughter Sex

My dad told me, ‘Anything worth having is worth waiting for.’ I waited until I was fifteen.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Sex

My girlfriend said she wanted me to dominate her; so I said, “OK, let’s play Scrabble.”

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Sex

I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Children Family Sex

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

(1958 – ) standup comedian, actor, game show host & photographer
Marriage Sex