Subject: Sex (Page 23)

You know that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Marriage Sex

The only thing I liked about camping was the fact that you can be drunk and have dirty feet, and you still had a pretty good chance of hooking up.

comedian
Activities Sex

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Insults Sex

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Government President Sex Wives

I once knew a woman who offered her honor, so I honored her offer, and all night long I was on her and off her.

Sex Wordplay

Whenever I’m about to have sex with a girl, I play it smart and just automatically assume she has herpes; because that way I don’t have to tell her about my herpes.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Dating Health Sex

The difference between a whore and a congressman is that a congressman makes more money.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Congress Government Sex

If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
People Sex Women

It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.

Children Money Proverbs Sex

I have this! Are you interested?

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Relationships Sex

I never drink water… fish f**k in it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex

How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?

(1966 – ) American film actor, producer & screenwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Why go out for milk when you've got a cow at home.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you?… and she said, "I don't think that was good for anybody.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Sex

The cardinal rule of politics: never get caught in bed with a live man or a dead woman.

(1931– 2012) American actor, producer & director
Government Politics Sex

I reckon porn gives kids an unrealistic idea of what it’s like to be a plumber.


Sex

They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom; I believe it, because that's where I get the most resistance.

comedian
Activities Exercise Sex

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Family Relationships Sex

Wife Swapping: Sexual fourplay.

Definitions Marriage Sex Wordplay

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? … If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Religion Sex

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned… do not have sex with the authorities.

(1954 – ) cartoonist, screenwriter, producer & creator of The Simpsons
Sex