Subject: Sex (Page 25)

As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.

writer, website creator
Sex

The three words you never want to hear while making love… honey, I'm home.


Sex Situations

Sex again Peg? … we’ve been married seventeen years now; can’t we just be friends?

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Dating Relationships Sex

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Sex Situations

In the middle of an asthma attack she got an obscene phone call; the guy said, “Did I call you or did you call me?”

comedian
Health Sex

Sex is better than talk… talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Communication Conversation Sex Speech

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Don’t bother discussing sex with small children… they rarely have anything to add.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Communication Conversation Family Sex Speech

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
People Sex

The only time you've had enough is when you've just finished.

Murphy’s Laws Sex

I like to date school teachers; if you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Dating Sex

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives

If you use the electric vibrator near water, you may come and go at the same time.


Sex Things

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way round.

(1935 – ) British author
Books Children Communication Family Life Reading/Writing Sex

I remember what I was doing the first time I told someone I loved them… I was lying to get sex.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Emotions Love Sex Situations

The couple next door have just made a sex tape… obviously, they don’t know that yet.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Sex

Wrong verb.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Sex

Chastity: Perhaps the most peculiar of all sexual aberrations.

Definitions Sex

By the time my friend was eighteen she had sown enough wild oats to make a grain deal with Russia.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
People Sex