Subject: Sex (Page 27)

Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author
Dating Relationships Sex

I never drink water… fish f**k in it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs God Religion Sex

I would love the ability to give someone an orgasm just by touching them.

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Sex

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Intelligence Sex

Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last.

Sex

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock; if I'm late, start without me.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Sex

I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "no one drag is enough."

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, “Back up, I don't know how big this gets.”

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Sex Situations

Any idiot can get laid when they’re famous… that’s easy… it’s getting laid when you’re not famous that takes some talent.

(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Sex Success

I got a German porno movie… which has subtitles, which is great 'cause, otherwise, I would have had no idea what was going on.

stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Entertainment Film Sex

Never pass up a chance to have sex or appear on television.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Sex Television

Before sleeping together today, people should boil themselves.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body.

(1664 – 1726) English architect & dramatist
Emotions Love Sex Women

You’ll have to ask somebody older than me.

(1883 – 1983) American composer, lyricist & pianist
Age Old Sex

Stand-up is a lot like sex… there’s a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Entertainment Sex

Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.

(1931 – ) American-born, British screenwriter, novelist & journalist
Insults Sex

I figured out I’m bisexual; I have sex twice a year.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

And just remember, the best thing about kids… is making them!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage.

Marriage Men People Sex Women

Beat Your Way to the Top: Masturbation as a technique for business success

Book Titles Sex