Subject: Sex (Page 27)

Self-abuse is the sincerest kind.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Activities Self Sex

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Body Sex Women

There was no sex education in the ‘70s; we thought the Kama Sutra was Indian takeaway.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Sex

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you?… and she said, "I don't think that was good for anybody.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Sex

Nobody's ever offered me money to have sex… sure – a Bud Light and a basket of curly fries, but not cash.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Money Sex

We tried it twice and it worked both times.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Sex

And for the record, all marriages are same sex marriages; you get married, and every night, it’s the same sex.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Marriage Sex Wordplay

When a man says he had pleasure with a woman he does not mean conversation.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Conversation Men People Sex Women

Peggy: I want sex.

Al: So do I, but I see no reason to drag you into it.

(1946 – ) American actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Sex is like art; most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

writer, website creator
Art Money Sex

Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I lost my virginity so late, that when it finally happened, I wasn’t so much deflowered as deadheaded.

(1980 – ) English comedian & writer
Sex

The only way to prevent prostitution altogether would be to imprison one half of the human race.

(1886 – 1961) Canadian writer, literary critic & libertarian philosopher
Sex

Marriage has driven more than one man to sex.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Marriage Sex

I really detest movies like Indecent Proposal and Pretty Woman because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal; and really that’s such a small part of it.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Entertainment Film Sex Women

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Beliefs Sex

I don’ t know if you’ ve read my book, “Advanced Sexual Positions: How to Achieve Them Without Laughing.”

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

My wife has cut me down to once a month; I'm lucky…
I know two guys she cut off completely.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation… the other eight are unimportant.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Sex

The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Travel