Subject: Sex (Page 3)

The difference between a child’s toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Sex Things

An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn’t know any women.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Sex Women

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex

They are a either a pain in the backside or too drunk to perform.

Amsterdam prostitutes’ spokeswoman
Sex Sports

Jamie Buchman: Would you please tell Lisa what guys think, when women give in on the first date?

Paul Buchman: [pauses] Yippee?

(1957 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it – if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

American actor & comedian
Food/Drink Sex Speech Women

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs God Sex

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Men Sex Things Women

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs God Religion Sex

I ain't a man of carnival instinctuals like you.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Sex

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

(1940 – 1992) English writer
Language Marriage Sex

Sex at 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old Sex

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Government President Sex Wives

I just broke up with my girl friend, I caught her lying… under another man.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Relationships Sex

Although humans tend to view sex as mainly a fun recreational activity sometimes resulting in death, in nature it is a far more serious matter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
People Sex

I wish I had as much in bed as I get in the newspapers.

(1946 – ) American singer
Sex

All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Sex

My daughter… she failed her drivers test; she couldn’t get used to the front seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Children Driving Family Sex

Recent surveys have shown that 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation; the rest just didn’t really think it was a problem.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Men People Sex

Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, ‘Yes, who did you think it was?'

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex

For guys, sex is like going to a restaurant, and no matter what you order off that menu, you walk out of there going, ‘Damn, that was good!'

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Men People Sex