Subject: Sex (Page 3)

Not nearly as exciting as it would be if I were acknowledged as one of the greatest lays in the world.

(1925 – 2006) American actress
Acting Entertainment Sex

Is that a ten-gallon hat [resting on a cowboy's lap] or are you just enjoying the show?

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Contrary to the old wives' tale that bloody-minded trainers put around, a little love-in before the main event can do you more good than a rub-down with The Sporting Life.

English boxer
Boxing Sex Sports

My favorite [sexual] position is called the plumber… you stay in all day, and nobody comes.

(1923 – 2009) British barrister, dramatist, screenwriter & author
Sex

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.

Children Family Sex Wordplay

I'm a man. Men have got another thing… they got waddya call, a carnival instinctuals.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Sex

Chastity: The most unnatural of the sexual perversions.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Sex

Before I met my wife, I had virtually no experience; I remember on our wedding night, I tried to inflate her.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sex

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex… except for salami and eggs; now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Life Sex

It's always the wrong time of the month.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Sex Time

They made love as though they were an endangered species.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Sex

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave.

People Sex

There is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Sex Situations

When my old man wanted sex… my mother would show him a picture of me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Fathers Mothers Sex

She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Sex Situations

Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Appearance Body Fat Men People Sex Women

The Catholics have an interesting view of sex; it is disgusting, amoral and filthy and you should save it for one you love.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian & filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Sex

I don’t want to have sex; you’re my wife, for God’s sake!

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Family Relationships Sex

Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand.

(1940 – 2007) British journalist, art critic & author
Communication Sex

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping