Subject: Sex (Page 31)

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

(1940 – ) pornographic actress & publisher
Sex

Fred Sanford: I still want to sow some wild oats.

Lamont: At your age, you don’t have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat.

(1946 – ) American actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

(Paul is licking wedding invitation envelopes) Jamie Buchman: How are you holding up?
Paul Buchman: Well, if I had two more tongues, I’d be the happiest person on Earth.
Jamie Buchman: (lights a cigarette) Second happiest.

(1963 – ) American actress, film director & screenwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

He's like, 'Caroline, you've got a cavity,' and I'm like, 'I know – and I'd like you to fill it.'

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Emotions Sex

When a man says he had pleasure with a woman he does not mean conversation.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Conversation Men People Sex Women

Usually I’m on top to keep the guy from escaping.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Self Sex

You were born with your legs apart; they'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Insults Sex

When you don’t have any money, the problem is food; when you have money, it’s sex; when you have both, it’s health.

(1926 – ) Irish American novelist & playwright
Health Money Sex

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

She’s cleared her schedule from 7:00 ‘til 7:30 – that means foreplay and cuddling.

(1959 – ) American actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I'm a great lover… I bet.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Beliefs Opinion Sex

Impotent: Willy-nilly.

Definitions Sex

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.


Computers Sex Things

My mom always said, ‘Men are like linoleum floors. You lay them right, and you can walk on them for 30 years.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Men People Sex

Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Body Sex

Impotence: Emission impossible.

Definitions Sex

I rely on my personality for birth control.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Characteristics Sex

A dirty book is rarely dusty.

Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Ideas Sex Situations

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs God Sex

So, I’m licking jelly off my boyfriend… and all of a sudden I’m thinking… oh, my God, I’m turning into my mother.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Family Mothers Sex Situations