Subject: Sex (Page 32)

When you've been around as long as me… you'll know that there are three types of sex… One – brand-new, kitchen-table sex; Two – bedroom sex; then number three – hallway sex… when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'f**k you.’

(1958 – ) Australian author
Age Sex

My girlfriend likes to play doctor; so I always make her wait 90 minutes before I see her.

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor
Occupations Sex

I rely on my personality for birth control.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Characteristics Sex

I have this! Are you interested?

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Relationships Sex

I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Sex

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Self Sex

Sex is God's joke on human beings.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Beliefs God People Sex

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

What do atheists scream when they come?

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Sex

An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Health Sex

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers; perverted sex involves the whole duck.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Animals Sex

Niagara Falls: The bride’s second great disappointment.

Definitions Places Sex

I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody's face while we're having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Sex Situations

I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

If he's stuck with the shrew, I hope he screws everything that's not tied down.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Marriage Sex

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

I don’ t know if you’ ve read my book, “Advanced Sexual Positions: How to Achieve Them Without Laughing.”

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Sex

One time, my own father caught me watching a porno movie… the one thing you don’t want to hear in that situation is, ‘Son, move over.’

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Entertainment Family Fathers Sex

I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille; I used to rub the dirty parts.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Education Sex