Subject: Sex (Page 33)

Al: How ya feeling, Peg? I’m surprised you could make it down those stairs this morning.

Peg: I know. I was pretty tired. I hope that buzzing didn’t keep you awake last night.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter

I’ll have what she’s having.

(1914 – 2008) American actress & singer

Sex is emotion in motion.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

My favorite [sexual] position is called the plumber… you stay in all day, and nobody comes.

(1923 – 2009) British barrister, dramatist, screenwriter & author

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer

I’m all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter

In real love you want the other person's good; in romantic love, you want the other person.

(1886 – 1973) American writer

Masturbation is the thinking man’s television.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director

The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets.

American playwright, television writer & author

The trouble with incest is that it gets you involved with relatives.

typographer

Sex and politics are a lot alike; you don’t have to be good at them to enjoy them.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)

I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "no one drag is enough."

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Marriage is like a row boat: it fits two, it doesn’t work on auto-pilot and it’s very difficult to have sex in.

(1964 – ) American comedian

My girlfriend called me at 11:00 this morning and said “I'm still in bed." … I said, “I know, I’ve had sex with you.”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian

The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Whatever else can be said about sex, it cannot be called a dignified performance.

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author

The only advice I ever got from my dad is this: sex is like pizza, even when it's bad you still gotta pay for it.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer, actor & radio host

Sex doesn’t have to be taught; it’s something most of us are born with.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign

Fred Sanford: I still want to sow some wild oats.

Lamont: At your age, you don’t have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat.

(1946 – ) American actor

How many husbands have I had?… do you mean apart from my own?

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress

Wife Swapping: Sexual fourplay.