Subject: Sex (Page 4)

Peggy: I want sex.

Al: So do I, but I see no reason to drag you into it.

(1946 – ) American actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Appearance Clothing Sex

The reason people sweat is so they won't catch fire when making love.

(1934 – 2005) American radio personality
Sex

In the past few years, I've only had sex with months that end in 'arch.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sex

All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Sex

The couple next door have just made a sex tape… obviously, they don’t know that yet.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Sex

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Insults Sex

Physics is like sex; sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
Science/Weather Sex

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
People Sex

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.

(1892 – 1972) American comedian, dancer & composer
Emotions Sex Wordplay

How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?

(1966 – ) American film actor, producer & screenwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

My wife has cut me down to once a month; I'm lucky…
I know two guys she cut off completely.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Sex

I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection… she pulled a switchblade on me.

writer, website creator
Dating Sex Situations

A man will fantasize that he’s having sex with someone else; a woman will fantasize she’s having sex with anyone else.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Men People Sex Women

The reason old men use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It’s that old women are so very ugly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Age Old Sex

It's ill-becoming for an old broad to sing about how bad she wants it… but occasionally we do.

(1917 – 2010) American singer & actress
Entertainment People Sex Women

Mary: Could the reason you can’t find a guy is because you’re letting them ride the rollercoaster without buying a ticket?

Penny: Oh, they don’t always get to ride the roller coaster. Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups.

(1985 – ) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I like trying to get pregnant; I'm not so sure about childbirth.

Mary Anne Evans (1819 – 1880) English novelist, journalist & translator
Sex Situations

A skirt is no obstacle to extemporaneous sex, but it is physically impossible to make love to a girl while she is wearing trousers.

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author
Appearance Clothing Sex

I ain't a man of carnival instinctuals like you.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Sex