Subject: Sex (Page 6)

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Activities Sex Situations

How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?

(1966 – ) American film actor, producer & screenwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Boxers don’t have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don’t fancy each

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex

Genitals are a great distraction to scholarship.

(1932 – 2000) English author & academic
Education Learning Sex

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

The only reason I feel guilty about masturbation is because I do it so badly.

(1942 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, writer, director & author
Sex

I'm a lousy piece of ass… and I should know… every man I have been with has told me so.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Sex

To please a woman in bed, all a man has to do is a poetry course; they also have to learn that the Kama Sutra is not an Indian takeaway and that the mutual orgasm is not an insurance company.

(1958 – ) Australian author
People Sex Women

My mom always said, ‘Men are like linoleum floors. You lay them right, and you can walk on them for 30 years.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Men People Sex

I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "no one drag is enough."

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

I don’t understand Viagra… I mean I like pie but I don’t want to eat it for 41⁄2 hours.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Food/Drink Sex

I’m so frightened of disease that it’s to the point I won’t have sex with someone… unless they say… you know… “Okay.”

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Health Sex

The Beginners Guide to Sex In the Afterlife

Book Titles Sex

The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.

(1894 – 1956) American biologist & professor
Sex

I almost got a girl pregnant in high school; it's costing me a fortune to keep the rabbit on a life-support system.

(12/06/1953 – ) American actor, comedian, director & game show host
Sex Situations

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Sex Wordplay

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

People Sex Women

As one gets older, litigation replaces sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Law Sex

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex

When a guy writes a scene where a woman does a deviant sex act on camera, it’s objectifying; but when a woman writes it, it’s feminism.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Men People Sex Women

My biggest fantasy in life is to have sex with two women… not in a night, but in my life.

comedian
Sex