Subject: Sex (Page 6)

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Dating People Relationships Self Sex

My girlfriend says that she thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover, but she hasn’t been able to catch him at it!

Marriage Sex

[after sex with the monster] Oh, where you going?… Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you’re out with the boys to boast and brag.

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

(1958 – ) standup comedian, actor, game show host & photographer
Marriage Sex

What does an atheist say during an orgasm?

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

Masturbation is the thinking man’s television.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Sex

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Sex

I’m not an expert on masturbation, but I hold my own.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Sex

Were kisses all the joys in bed, one woman would another wed.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
People Sex Women

Education with socialists: it’s like sex, all right so long as you don’t have to pay for it

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Education Sex

How many husbands have I had?… do you mean apart from my own?

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Husbands Marriage Sex

In a way, comedy is like sex… the more noise you hear, the better you think you’re doing.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Entertainment Sex

I'll get some aspirin and we caI’ll get some aspirin and we can sit here and solve the case of the wife who’s not getting any. n sit here and solve the case of the wife who's not getting any.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

(1940 – 1992) English writer
Language Marriage Sex

Petting: The study of anatomy in braille.

Definitions Sex

I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard – day-in and day-out – just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it’s all over, he showers and goes to his job.

comedian
Men Sex

You were born with your legs apart; they'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Insults Sex

The closest I’ve ever come to saying "no" [to a woman] is "Not now, we’re landing."

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
Sex

Incest: in many parts of the Bible Belt, the most popular form of dating.

American author
Dating Relationships Sex

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Girls Life Sex

Edible underwear?… even during sex, we can't stop eating.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Eating Fat Food/Drink Sex