Subject: Sex (Page 7)

Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Men Sex Women

I accidentally walked in on my roommate and his girlfriend having sex; fortunately they didn't see me for almost 10 minutes.

American comedian
Sex Situations

One day as I came home early from work… I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs

Book Titles Relationships Sex

Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Food/Drink Sex

Sex is like a game of bridge… if you don't have a good partner, you need a good hand.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Games Sex

I asked my wife, “last night, were you faking it?” She said, “No, I was really sleeping.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Sex Sleep

Sex alleviates tension; love causes it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Love Sex

They say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds… the other 19 are shame.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Men People Sex

Ecstasy: Happiness with its clothes off.

Definitions Emotions Happiness Sex

Fred Sanford: I still want to sow some wild oats.

Lamont: At your age, you don’t have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat.

(1946 – ) American actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Love is the answer… but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Love Sex

Whatever else can be said about sex, it cannot be called a dignified performance.

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author
Characteristics Sex

I learned whether you are gay, bisexual, it doesn’t matter, you know… because, at the end of the day, they’re both gross.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
People Sex

Of course a platonic relationship is possible, but only between husband and wife.


Marriage Relationships Sex

Chastity: The most unnatural of the sexual perversions.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Sex

Einstein used science to get laid; that guy is a genius… I've been using money.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sex

Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body.

(1664 – 1726) English architect & dramatist
Emotions Love Sex Women

Chaste makes waste.

Proverbs Sex

Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.

(1927 – 2007) American newspaper columnist
Books Communication Eating Food/Drink Reading/Writing Sex

The average man thinks about sex every… what were we talking about?

(1964 – ) American comedian
Men People Sex