Subject: Sex (Page 7)

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators… I left early.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Sex Time

Women reach their sexual peak after 35 years; men reach theirs after about four minutes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Men People Sex Time Women

Make Your Own Sex Toys (A Practical Guide to a Better Love Life)

Book Titles Sex

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Activities Sex Situations

Sex and politics are a lot alike; you don’t have to be good at them to enjoy them.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Government Politics Sex

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Age Life Sex

Sex is God's joke on human beings.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Beliefs God People Sex

She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Sex Situations

I went to a massage parlor; it was self service.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Sex

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Men People Sex Women

Sex: The thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Problems Sex Time

My love life is like a fairy tale – it's grim.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Love Sex Situations

I don’t understand the whole concept of a massage; you get a woman to rub all over every single part of your body except the one part you really want rubbed on.

(1968 – ) American comedian, actor & country music artist
Activities Sex

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs People Religion Sex Women

Before I met my wife, I had virtually no experience; I remember on our wedding night, I tried to inflate her.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sex

Beat Your Way to the Top: Masturbation as a technique for business success

Book Titles Sex

The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Divorce Marriage Sex

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Clothing Sex Things Women

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

Mary: Could the reason you can’t find a guy is because you’re letting them ride the rollercoaster without buying a ticket?

Penny: Oh, they don’t always get to ride the roller coaster. Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups.

(1985 – ) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Entertainment Marriage Sex Television